Holidays: Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with... - FML

By anonymous - 05/09/2014 18:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 998

You deserved it 3 593

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Same thing different taste

By chuchundra - 08/03/2014 20:06 - United States

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 702

You deserved it 7 975

By 88_OP - 25/07/2011 02:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 464

You deserved it 3 963

What happened here?

By Lisa - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 011

You deserved it 333

A cheap holiday in other people's misery

By Blunt w/chip on shoulder - 06/02/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I came to visit a friend I haven't seen in 3 years for a fun 2 month vacation of you know what. She has 2 more dogs now and soon as I stepped in her place after flying across the country, there were 2 piles if dog crap on the ground. I already want to fly out of here, and this is only day one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 496

By kenz - 06/12/2010 08:18 - United States

Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 419

You deserved it 2 556

By Anonymous - 23/04/2009 14:09 - United States

Today, I came home from a two-week overseas business trip. My wife was at work, but she came home for lunch. When she came in, she brushed right past me to hug and talk to her dog. When I mentioned it, she said, "But I haven't seen him all day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 635

You deserved it 4 331

Freedom

By notsoaloneanymore - 17/06/2016 04:32 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 076

You deserved it 3 183

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 19:01 - United States

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 638

You deserved it 3 110

A rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 16:02

Today, I got back from a camping trip after being homesick for 3 weeks. I couldn't remember why I had wanted to be away from my family for so long when I signed up for it. When I got home, I remembered. Everyone in my family hates each other. I want to go back to the camping site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 263

Poker face

By therealducktape - 20/08/2010 22:03 - France

Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 897

You deserved it 3 541

Next

Top comments

SkittlesGoRawr 19

Friday 5 September 2014 22:53

This is why dogs are better than humans.

Liamj774 36

Friday 5 September 2014 22:53

Well I would only care about the dog if I were you

Comments

Nessco 36

Saturday 6 September 2014 3:14

If I lived with 6 people and one went away for two weeks, I wouldn't be happy when they got back either. How do you guys manage with so many people in the house? They must have appreciated the break. Not from you, just from having so many people in that space all the time.

TheCrispyCat 20

Saturday 6 September 2014 4:10

I honestly don't see an issue.

metheonlyb 17

Saturday 6 September 2014 4:39

There is a reason why I say Dogs are better than humans. :)

The_Otherlover 4

Saturday 6 September 2014 4:40

The story of my life

SiKH_WiT_iT 13

Saturday 6 September 2014 4:42

**** it, I'd rather be with my dog anyway. At least he/she loves you.

NeonSteps 14

Saturday 6 September 2014 5:41

whats the difference between a dog and a spouse? The dog is still happy too see you after 2 years.

snakesinmyhair 3

Saturday 6 September 2014 8:07

Dogs are all that matters anyway.

nevermindthemind 18

Saturday 6 September 2014 12:52

atleast someone is happy

jh921971 10

Saturday 6 September 2014 14:15

There's 2 sides to a coin. Is it possible that you were being an asshole before you left?

seldom66 16

Sunday 7 September 2014 7:55

Hahahahaha bitch. No one likes you

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Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 537

You deserved it 10 056

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I was excited because a friend had added me to a new Facebook chat consisting of my tight circle of friends from last year's summer camp. I then saw when the chat had been created. They kept me out of the chat for almost an entire year before deciding to add me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 899

You deserved it 2 810

Today, my boyfriend left me because he found out I cheated on my first boyfriend when I was 12. That was back before I knew what "cheating" was and I thought it was okay to love more than one person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 260

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 193

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 800

You deserved it 3 525

Expensive rings and rushing water don't mix.

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 238

Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent trainwreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she'd spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 722

You deserved it 1 824