Holidays: Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with...

By anonymous - 05/09/2014 18:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 998

You deserved it 3 593

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Same thing different taste

By chuchundra - 08/03/2014 20:06 - United States

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 702

You deserved it 7 975

By 88_OP - 25/07/2011 02:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 464

You deserved it 3 963

What happened here?

By Lisa - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 011

You deserved it 333

A cheap holiday in other people's misery

By Blunt w/chip on shoulder - 06/02/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I came to visit a friend I haven't seen in 3 years for a fun 2 month vacation of you know what. She has 2 more dogs now and soon as I stepped in her place after flying across the country, there were 2 piles if dog crap on the ground. I already want to fly out of here, and this is only day one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 496

By kenz - 06/12/2010 08:18 - United States

Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 419

You deserved it 2 556

By Anonymous - 23/04/2009 14:09 - United States

Today, I came home from a two-week overseas business trip. My wife was at work, but she came home for lunch. When she came in, she brushed right past me to hug and talk to her dog. When I mentioned it, she said, "But I haven't seen him all day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 635

You deserved it 4 331

Freedom

By notsoaloneanymore - 17/06/2016 04:32 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 076

You deserved it 3 183

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 19:01 - United States

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 638

You deserved it 3 110

A rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 16:02

Today, I got back from a camping trip after being homesick for 3 weeks. I couldn't remember why I had wanted to be away from my family for so long when I signed up for it. When I got home, I remembered. Everyone in my family hates each other. I want to go back to the camping site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 263

Poker face

By therealducktape - 20/08/2010 22:03 - France

Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 897

You deserved it 3 541

SkittlesGoRawr 19

Friday 5 September 2014 22:53

This is why dogs are better than humans.

Liamj774 36

Friday 5 September 2014 22:53

Well I would only care about the dog if I were you

Comments

daydreamer244 13

Friday 5 September 2014 22:59

That's why dogs are man's best friend! :)

Black_Ink 20

Friday 5 September 2014 23:00

Man's best friend

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 5 September 2014 23:01

Well, dogs are man's best friend!!! Welcome home!!!!

Pelpa 6

Friday 5 September 2014 23:03

Screw them, give any souvenirs you got them to the dog.

sidious_fml 16

Friday 5 September 2014 23:03

Dogs are called man's best friend for a reason :) i'd rather spend the weekend with my dog than with my friends tbh.

Aquila_Umbrae 26

Friday 5 September 2014 23:03

You should buy your dog a new toy or something for being a good friend.

catmint 13

Friday 5 September 2014 23:09

I'd only care about the dog anyway. They give the best welcomes home.

eatinchocolate 8

Friday 5 September 2014 23:21

I love you ;-;

_purepxrcelain_ 6

Friday 5 September 2014 23:23

dogs are man's best friend. they're way more loyal than anything.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 5 September 2014 23:32

When is a dog never happy to see someone they know?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 698

The Top

Today, I replaced the battery in a closet’s electronic keypad door lock, and I accidentally locked myself inside. My family was traveling, so I had to call a neighbor. He got me out, but took pictures and posted them to social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 593

You deserved it 734

Today, my boyfriend and I got put on the Kiss cam at a baseball game. Instead of kissing me, he grabbed my boobs and got the biggest round of applause I have heard in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 221

Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 709

You deserved it 10 430

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 993

You deserved it 6 189

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 657

You deserved it 4 351

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 250

Same thing different taste

What happened here?

A cheap holiday in other people's misery

Freedom

A rock and a hard place

Poker face

Top comments

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