Love: Today, I learned that girls don't like it when you pass out from... - FML

By thatguy - 28/10/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, I learned that girls don't like it when you pass out from carrying them to the bed. What they DO like, is telling all their friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 239

You deserved it 9 192

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 819

You deserved it 3 322

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 491

You deserved it 7 970

By bunkbed - 30/08/2011 16:45 - Canada

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 060

You deserved it 3 876

No

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 108

You deserved it 5 887

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 588

You deserved it 3 860

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 676

You deserved it 4 572

By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 291

You deserved it 40 629

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 21:29 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 927

You deserved it 3 566

Teenagers, amirite?

By JustShootMe - 02/11/2020 07:57 - Australia - Gladstone

Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 139

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 162

Next

Top comments

AngelRaven89 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 22:14

why would she tell all her friends that you carrying her made you pass out? That seems like something she would want to keep private. How exactly does one pass out from carrying someone? I don't get it! Someone clarify!

Fontario4 2

Wednesday 28 October 2009 22:23

Ummm you all assume she's fat, she's either fat, OR this guy is super weak, and that's why she is telling all her friends and thet's why he's embarrassed, that seems to make more sense.

Comments

sydefx 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 19:47

Tell your fat ass gf to loose some weight.

HUFILMER 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 23:24

Been there done that bro. I didnt pass out, but it was hard to carry her up 3 flights of stairs so I could put her to bed, not even have sex. lol. Sorry bro.

kenziemakayla 5

Monday 1 November 2010 11:45

umm what she fat?

SleepOnStones 5

Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:10

Haha! Why would she tell all her friends? It makes her sound fat. Lol

beachbabe098 3

Friday 9 December 2011 19:51

It's not your fault your girlfriend is fat

profligatesoul 18

Tuesday 5 March 2013 1:19

Women! Sheesh!

rougeunicorn03 17

Tuesday 24 September 2013 4:43

Say that you're not weak, she's just fat.

nyf137 20

Friday 6 November 2015 17:42

Extremely judgmental people commenting here, why are we making so many assumptions and being SO rude to judge someone you *think* is fat but really have no idea about how this person looks. We don't know the entire situation or all the factors that could have contributed.. and even if OP's girlfriend is overweight, that is no reason to be so rude about it, not everyone *has* to be skinny or weigh only 100 pounds to be accepted or be in a loving, happy relationship.

lucasjames22 8

Thursday 13 July 2017 17:03

what the hell? I would tell everyone too and probably dump you cause that's kind of a pussy move.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Students Relatable Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 973

You deserved it 2 303

The Top

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 102

You deserved it 54 004

Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 423

You deserved it 5 759

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 912

You deserved it 42 589

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 505

You deserved it 2 073

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 414

You deserved it 25 142

Today, it's my wife's birthday. She also sleepwalks, sleep eats and sleep drinks. This morning, her subconscious remembered it was her birthday and wanted to celebrate in style. I found my $200 bottle of Johnny Walker Blue was missing 3". She doesn't remember drinking it. I'm so glad she enjoyed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 273