Animals: Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of... - FML

By corasmom - 27/07/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 874

You deserved it 10 542

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Same thing different taste

By baldspot - 02/04/2012 05:38 - Australia

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 979

You deserved it 2 886

By gvmfvr - 08/05/2014 20:48 - France - Fontenay-sous-bois

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 179

You deserved it 3 962

Irrational fears

By emelie000 - 29/07/2022 14:00

Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 201

By Slaanesh - 12/12/2008 12:08 - France

Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 042

You deserved it 38 991

By Jukka - 19/04/2011 00:48

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 766

You deserved it 8 454

Poor little guy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 14:01

Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 164

By ohgosh - 12/10/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 693

You deserved it 4 589

By broomrape - 29/04/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I found out that the horrible stench haunting my apartment for the past week was the decomposing corpse of my freedom loving gerbil underneath the bed that I've been sleeping on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 157

You deserved it 11 678

By JustLeaveThem - 25/01/2017 18:00

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 736

You deserved it 292

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 177

Next

Top comments

DianaFromHolland 3

Thursday 28 July 2011 0:06

Ffffuuuu what have u done? ;o

werx 6

Thursday 28 July 2011 2:29

Why weren't they in their cage?

Comments

katiaa94 2

Thursday 28 July 2011 6:32

Good luck explaining what happened to your daughter ..

yesmanddd 4

Friday 29 July 2011 9:40

How about "Honey, I sucked up your gerbils. Do you want to go out for ice-cream now?"

wolf_wizard1134 9

Tuesday 6 February 2018 20:07

buy new ones with blond fur and tell your daughter they went super sayian and watch dragon ball z with her

sweet_candy_ 17

Thursday 28 July 2011 6:31

What did those poor little gerbils ever do to you?

itsgen 16

Thursday 28 July 2011 7:02

well you can always replace them?

JenL_fml 7

Thursday 28 July 2011 7:39

Not the gerbils! Dx

perdix 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 6:16

The gerbils probably chose the sweet release of death over your daughter's unending tortures and humiliations.

nicole2246 8

Thursday 28 July 2011 7:38

well poor things! lets hope you didnt suck them up!!

AllTiimeLow 1

Thursday 28 July 2011 16:24

You're retarded.

10kings10 0

Thursday 28 July 2011 18:03

hey

nicole2246 8

Friday 29 July 2011 7:31

hello 10kings10

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 28 July 2011 8:26

Hate to be a grammar Nazi, but shouldn't that be 'were not'?

nightslayer 6

Thursday 28 July 2011 8:42

Haha sucks for you!

ImInABox 6

Thursday 28 July 2011 9:11

Nooooo. They were so young! You murderer! How could you? D: ..sniff sniff.. They were planning on having children! You crushed their dreams with your obsessive cleaning! You should hate yourself now! D:

Parazad 16

Thursday 28 July 2011 7:09

I hope they're still alive, and that your daughter understands.

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The Top

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Today, I ordered more memory and a new hard drive for my computer. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. FML

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Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 306

You deserved it 92 950

Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 1 905

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

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You deserved it 5 479

Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML

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You deserved it 932