Animals: Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did"...

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By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 125

You deserved it 52 150

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Same thing different taste

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 207

You deserved it 30 492

NDA FML

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 182

It's never a mannequin

By I heart Kevin from JTL - 20/08/2024 12:00 - Canada - Port Colborne

Today, I was watching a crime drama with my parents. During a tense moment, I casually said, "Oh, I know how to hide a body." They both stared at me in horror, and I had to explain that I meant from watching too many true crime videos on YouTube, not from actual experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 371

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 963

You deserved it 47 331

The betrayal

By Anonymous - 14/02/2022 16:01

Today, like an idiot, I accidentally included stuff I learned from snooping in my daughter's secret diary during a conversation with her. She's not happy at me right now, so I may have to polish off my old grovelling skills from when I was still married to her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 2 503

Self report

By Anonymous - 25/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 048

You deserved it 5 532

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 10:55 - Australia

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 472

You deserved it 38 090

Keep quiet

By PoorAndabroke - 28/05/2022 22:00

Today, I learned that you shouldn’t announce on social media that you’re leaving on vacation for a week. Your house might get broken into, and all your electronics will be missing. They were kind enough to leave a note saying, “If you can afford a vacation, you can afford to replace all this shit. Have fun!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 1 430

By Pooperscooper - 20/07/2009 18:45 - France

Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and then the words "uh oh", it's already too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 681

You deserved it 6 892

Family secrets

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Marysville

Today, my sister accused me of hacking into her phone because I helped her connect to a WiFi network a while ago, and she'd completely forgotten about it. I only found that out when my mom accidentally leaked it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 68

somela 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:11

YDI and you suck I hope your family puts you up for adoption, so you know how your dog felt

studentwoes 2

Friday 27 November 2009 20:09

Don't you watch TV?? Of course you never confess!

Comments

sweetpandora_fml 2

Saturday 28 November 2009 15:36

You are a monster, and you deserve WHATEVER they decide to do to you.

The_Great_Zucchi 15

Saturday 28 November 2009 16:08

That was funny! And giving away dogs is an underrated activity. You make someone else happy and you don't have a dog anymore. Win - win...

gigi2009 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 16:30

conscience conscience and please turn your computer off next time.

Lisa89 3

Saturday 28 November 2009 16:41

why would you give away a family dog? geeze

unpossible 26

Sunday 29 November 2009 4:14

Hey OP, did you also use a lot of your roommate's toothpaste and sleep with her boyfriend too by any chance?

JessiGoose 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 4:36

I hate you.

Kokihi 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 6:16

I agree with #14. If it was a family dog you had no right to give it away, and you lied to your family. you epically fail at life.

still_in_lovex3 0

Monday 30 November 2009 15:53

i think that YDI because you lied to your family but if it was for a good reason I can respect why you needed to get rid of it but i can't respect that you lied that is just wrong no matter what. you should of talked it over and did like the pro and con list of keeping or getting rid of the dog. but you didn't even let the family help you come to the decision when it was the "family" dog. i think it was kind of a low blow to your family. but I dont think that you are a "sick shit slurping fag" like Youd_Laugh_2 seems to think because i don't see what giving the dog away has to do with being gay but whatever...