Miscellaneous, Awkward, YouTube and True Crime: It's never a mannequin - FML

It's never a mannequin

By I heart Kevin from JTL - 20/08/2024 12:00 - Canada - Port Colborne

Today, I was watching a crime drama with my parents. During a tense moment, I casually said, "Oh, I know how to hide a body." They both stared at me in horror, and I had to explain that I meant from watching too many true crime videos on YouTube, not from actual experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 352

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Same thing different taste

The twisted case of the suitcase

By Cecilia - 20/09/2022 05:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I realized that my addiction to YouTube true crime had gone too far when I immediately though, "Dead body!" when I came across a seemingly abandoned suitcase outside my building. It's only when my neighbor came outside to pick it up that I stopped calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 1 053

Serial killer

By bananapie69 - 29/05/2020 23:00

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 1 079

JCS Inspired

By Britters - 25/10/2022 18:00

Today, my true crime addiction is so bad, when I read an FML about someone's dissociative personality disorder, I immediately thought they were lying and just preparing a good 'not guilty' defense because they planned to murder someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 784

By imarriedanaxemurderer - 18/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Joliet

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 549

You deserved it 4 627

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 755

You deserved it 3 448

Humor bypass

By #goodbyelife - 09/12/2014 00:38 - United States

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 137

You deserved it 6 234

Suspicious Minds

By Anonymous - 29/04/2021 20:08

Today, I found out that my parents have always believed that every single time I have ever showed emotion, I was faking it and that I'm actually a sociopath with no feelings. I was kicked out of the theater department at my college for my poor acting skills, and they know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 02:25 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 305

You deserved it 40 844

Blundering my way through life

By Anonymous - 06/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I accidentally spoiled the ending of a movie for a group of friends who hadn’t seen it yet. In an attempt to apologize, I blurted out, "At least I didn’t tell you the twist!" They didn't even know that there was a twist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 594

Suspect

By worldsbestjobgonebad - 19/10/2009 06:08 - Canada

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 063

You deserved it 4 146

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Party Halloween Jealousy Love Argument Fight Family Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Anger issues Birds Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute Work AITA Intimacy Sex

The Top

Today, I found out why my friends don’t invite me to Karaoke Thursday Nights anymore. Apparently, I act like a “show off” and “presumptuous” and make the others feel bad. It’s not my fault I have a decent singing voice. I guess they don’t like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 1 595

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 295

You deserved it 2 147

The Top

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 313

You deserved it 3 706

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 7 044

Today, I fell asleep while watching the Ted Bundy documentary. I'm a woman, home alone, in Seattle. The nightmares were so scary, I may never want to sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 773

Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 844

You deserved it 1 985

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 712

You deserved it 9 070

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 455

You deserved it 3 489