Miscellaneous: Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days.... - FML

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By zuut - 18/01/2009 05:22 - Australia

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 255

You deserved it 9 334

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Same thing different taste

Poked

By Facebook - 13/06/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 649

You deserved it 6 641

Dopamine

By Kaya Marley Ramsey - 05/10/2021 06:00

Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 1 079

Nice try

By No.Life. - 14/07/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 542

You deserved it 32 585

By supercharged - 05/04/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 176

You deserved it 3 350

Get a life

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 809

You deserved it 42 358

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 082

You deserved it 34 734

By Noname - 11/02/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 351

You deserved it 5 499

What did I do?

By Ryan McArdle - 25/01/2021 10:58

Today, I tried to log into Instagram for the first time in 2 days. They deactivated my account for violating their guidelines. I haven't posted a picture or made a comment in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 141

By unlovedfatty - 16/12/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 576

You deserved it 4 980

By Needsanewjob - 10/01/2012 15:34 - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 55 446

Next

Top comments

your_face 15

Sunday 1 March 2009 17:32

It's pathetic that you need FB action to feel good about yourself.

tishytot 0

Friday 6 February 2009 19:54

My power has been out for over 2 weeks because of an ice storm. I have no new notifications on Facebook. I have nothing on Myspace. Nothing on Twitter, or any other website I use. **** your life? **** my life.

Comments

bigbangvip1 7

Saturday 18 May 2013 0:44

so??????????????????????????????????????

Beva_fml 15

Friday 28 June 2013 13:07

Am I supposed to feel sorry for you now?

BlackButlerFan 20

Thursday 18 July 2013 23:27

That sucks. I went on FB after 2 hours and had 120 notifications

madame_malfoy 4

Monday 22 July 2013 17:13

...so? I don't understand the FML...?

wolfstalker213 14

Thursday 5 September 2013 6:37

I havent gone on facebook in 7-9 months. Not a single notification. Not. One.

dearmeh 10

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:44

At least it wasn't a year with 1 notification...

Cass_x 22

Sunday 3 November 2013 9:10

My life in a nutshell.

Chaos72 15

Saturday 6 September 2014 11:39

It's just Facebook, what does it matter?

Solano2580 24

Sunday 2 November 2014 4:35

And? Does this cause your whole life to get worse? No, does it make you an asshole to everyone you know? No, stop wasting our time

evanawesome123 11

Sunday 9 November 2014 14:27

I haven't logged in in one year and no new notifications

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Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Zoom Job interview Work Money Capitalism My ex Mental health Parents Kids Weird Video games Gamers Music Transportation Cars Friends Racism Cute Relatable Death Divorce AITA Client relations Cops Cheating Renters Love

The Top

Today, I spent the day with my ex-husband, getting our house ready for market. We've been doing this for weeks, and to my shock, my ex has turned back into the hard-working, handy, patient man I fell in love with. I don't know what to say or do, so I spend every day quietly heartsick with longing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 227

Today, my mom screamed in my face that if she could go back in time, she’d rather have put up with the 3-minute pain of being fucked in the ass like her boyfriend wanted, because then she wouldn’t have had 13 years of pain raising me. FML

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You deserved it 347

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend he has to stop paying half of his baby mama's rent or I would leave. He laughed and said I could leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 1 782

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 673

You deserved it 2 257

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 801

You deserved it 3 228

Today, I found out my boss was quiet-firing me on purpose. Apparently, his daughter who works at this same company is pregnant now and needs a promotion. I have a Master’s and have been here for 9 years. She dropped out of college because it was “too hard” and the other day she put a metal spoon in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 93

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "To put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 104

You deserved it 9 424

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 204

You deserved it 10 517