Miscellaneous: Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days.... - FML

By zuut - 18/01/2009 05:22 - Australia

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 253

You deserved it 9 329

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Same thing different taste

Poked

By Facebook - 13/06/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 645

You deserved it 6 639

Dopamine

By Kaya Marley Ramsey - 05/10/2021 06:00

Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 1 077

Nice try

By No.Life. - 14/07/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 541

You deserved it 32 584

By supercharged - 05/04/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 174

You deserved it 3 349

Get a life

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 807

You deserved it 42 357

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 082

You deserved it 34 733

By Noname - 11/02/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 350

You deserved it 5 499

What did I do?

By Ryan McArdle - 25/01/2021 10:58

Today, I tried to log into Instagram for the first time in 2 days. They deactivated my account for violating their guidelines. I haven't posted a picture or made a comment in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 141

By unlovedfatty - 16/12/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 572

You deserved it 4 980

By Needsanewjob - 10/01/2012 15:34 - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 55 429

Next

Top comments

your_face 15

Sunday 1 March 2009 17:32

It's pathetic that you need FB action to feel good about yourself.

tishytot 0

Friday 6 February 2009 19:54

My power has been out for over 2 weeks because of an ice storm. I have no new notifications on Facebook. I have nothing on Myspace. Nothing on Twitter, or any other website I use. **** your life? **** my life.

Comments

fdp_fml 2

Friday 19 March 2010 23:21

lol your life sucks. i get sad when i don't have new notifications after hours.

GiddyXD 0

Friday 9 April 2010 10:32

agreed. fb sucks all they want is mafia wars friends and stuff like that

ecascio2010 9

Saturday 5 June 2010 3:18

grow up, fuckwaddle

briiana012 3

Sunday 6 June 2010 12:57

omg GET OVER IT PUSSY

frontofprojects 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 17:10

loooooser

lorenzobalderas 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 17:59

face book isn't as good as myspace bit still if u talk to people and have a life u will get notifications so maybe do something and u can't complain

mylifesgay 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 4:29

oh shit the worlds gonna end cus u didnt get a notification...get a life dude.

anythingmustbe 18

Thursday 26 August 2010 14:51

This is not an FML the real FML is that you dont got a life and that you rely on facebook get a life do a sport or something facebook is just a waste of time what is wrong with just chatting to people?

magicstar 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 9:48

I have new notifications like everyday this proves u have no life

Kitkathicks 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 19:43

Get a life retard!

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The Top

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 761

You deserved it 4 524

Today, my youngest daughter was going through separation anxiety when I dropped her off at school. After ten minutes of me comforting her, the teacher said, "C'mon, you have to let Nan go now so you can join in with the class." Ummm, I'm her mum, not her grandparent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 102

The Top

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 714

You deserved it 1 957

Today, I was arrested for kidnapping a child. MY child. Do you know how hard it is as a white man to convince a police officer that a latino toddler screaming, "Stranger danger!" is yours? FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 671

You deserved it 427

Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 148

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 957

You deserved it 2 879

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 930

You deserved it 4 074

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 214

You deserved it 3 326