Miscellaneous: Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers...

By DarkPhoenix - 04/12/2008 11:16 - France

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 794

You deserved it 3 755

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Same thing different taste

Gratitude

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 02:02

Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 361

By Noname - 14/02/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 253

You deserved it 4 231

By Originality18 - 24/02/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimer's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 447

You deserved it 7 883

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 4 167

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 305

You deserved it 4 391

Live, laugh, love no one

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 23:01

Today, I got flowers from a secret admirer. Turns out they were from my sister's in-laws who own a flower shop. Apparently, everyone feels bad that I'm single and they are convinced I'm gonna die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 127

By flowerman - 26/12/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 052

You deserved it 5 234

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 02:04 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 778

You deserved it 2 605

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 135

You deserved it 5 252

By britney - 15/02/2010 02:54 - Canada

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 130

You deserved it 5 601

shrillace 0

Monday 23 March 2009 17:09

The 20-somethings of the '60s are the 60-somethings of the 2000s. Don't forget that.

kottdawg 0

Friday 13 March 2009 6:43

HAHAHAHA old people do know whats best

Comments

Eir_fml 1

Wednesday 18 February 2009 2:17

You should have told her the flowers were for your mother. Alternatively, what if they were? That would have sucked.

Mattxy8 5

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:29

How is this in any way shape or form a FML?

Ximmie 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 1:33

AHAHA!!! Amazing. :)

Sgt_Schadenfreud 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:07

I love pensioners.

snoopy24_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 18:33

HAHA wow...

kottdawg 0

Friday 13 March 2009 6:43

HAHAHAHA old people do know whats best

pinkfrenchrose 5

Saturday 14 March 2009 5:20

Sounds like something my grandma would say. My grandma is crazy. :)

shrillace 0

Monday 23 March 2009 17:09

The 20-somethings of the '60s are the 60-somethings of the 2000s. Don't forget that.

SteppenBeatle 3

Wednesday 3 September 2014 4:05

Yes. Awesome

Empleh 4

Sunday 5 April 2009 7:44

Listen to your elders.

maggiewalters 17

Saturday 11 April 2009 5:24

well, she's right!

glamourful 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 12:13

how is this a FML??? That's ******* awesome!

pothopper 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 1:44

MLIA !!

HK416_fml 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 4:26

I concurr

Keywords

Coworkers Work Dogs Animals Transportation Cars Miscellaneous Photography Art Videos Love Awkward Health Money Scams My ex Sex Family Healthy Lifestyle AITA Am I overreacting? Babies Kids Sleep Mental health Parents Cheating Break-ups Friends Nice Guys

The Top

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 348

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 126

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 29 202

You deserved it 3 237

Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 969

You deserved it 2 363

Today, I went to bed, falling asleep quickly; however, my cat decided to show up and lay on top of me, making me so uncomfortably hot and sweaty that my body immediately woke me up so I wouldn't die of a heat stroke. It's fucking 1:00 AM. He NEVER sleeps with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 199

Today, the car across the street has been broken into so many times that my parrot has started to mimic its car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 929

You deserved it 1 727

Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 702

You deserved it 5 944

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 327

You deserved it 5 099

Same thing different taste

Gratitude

Good one

Live, laugh, love no one

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