Miscellaneous: Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers...

By DarkPhoenix - 04/12/2008 11:16 - France

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 794

You deserved it 3 755

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Gratitude

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 02:02

Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 361

By Noname - 14/02/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 253

You deserved it 4 231

By Originality18 - 24/02/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimer's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 447

You deserved it 7 883

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 4 167

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 305

You deserved it 4 391

Live, laugh, love no one

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 23:01

Today, I got flowers from a secret admirer. Turns out they were from my sister's in-laws who own a flower shop. Apparently, everyone feels bad that I'm single and they are convinced I'm gonna die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 127

By flowerman - 26/12/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 052

You deserved it 5 234

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 02:04 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 779

You deserved it 2 605

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 135

You deserved it 5 252

By britney - 15/02/2010 02:54 - Canada

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 130

You deserved it 5 601

shrillace 0

Monday 23 March 2009 17:09

The 20-somethings of the '60s are the 60-somethings of the 2000s. Don't forget that.

kottdawg 0

Friday 13 March 2009 6:43

HAHAHAHA old people do know whats best

Comments

1098765432 0

Thursday 13 September 2012 21:08

Better loose than all up in your ass about how you chose the wrong girlfriend or other bullshit like that

_charliebrown_ 3

Wednesday 7 November 2012 22:53

I think this old woman is exactly how they "use to be"!!! And she knows what she's talking about. Take her advise man.

LWNA9 5

Tuesday 11 December 2012 12:27

Elderly aren't what they used to be? Neither are young people! Lol.

Xotoolyxo 16

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:43

Should've given her the flowers

littlebuggy 10

Tuesday 30 July 2013 4:52

Hahaha go granny!

VerbalVenom 16

Saturday 25 January 2014 18:09

That's not an FML. That's awesome!

Federgirl 19

Friday 18 April 2014 22:23

haha that's awesome!!! m/

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend's family. He calls his parents things like “geriatric hag” and “old clown”. I was about to yell at him, but they started calling him “nancy boy” and “nerd”. Apparently they love each other, but only communicate through abuse. I can’t believe I may soon marry into this mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 1 291

Today, I asked my girlfriend of six months to be honest and tell me why she didn't give me a chance at first, two years ago when I first asked her out. I guess I shouldn't have asked, because her response was, "At first I wasn't digging you that hard, but the guys I liked didn't have your personality." FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 441

The Top

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 384

You deserved it 3 654

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 948

Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 498

You deserved it 2 664

Too relatable.

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 58

Today, I found out that the 19-year-old I've been seeing is really 26, with two kids and a pregnant fiancée. I'm only 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 483

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 724

You deserved it 6 244

Same thing different taste

Gratitude

Good one

Live, laugh, love no one

Top comments

Comments