Love: Today, I'm single. Last night, I decided it would be silly to...

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By P4ntless - 26/10/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, I'm single. Last night, I decided it would be silly to leave my phone in my car before I went to my roommate's brother's birthday party. Highlights of the evening include: Beer Pong, a keg stand, and breaking up with my girlfriend via text message. I don't remember the last one. She does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 568

You deserved it 41 375

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Same thing different taste

By Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 700

You deserved it 1 246

Sobering

By Bambusmaster - 13/09/2018 18:50

Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 879

You deserved it 237

By thedudeman14 - 05/11/2014 22:21 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 471

You deserved it 3 197

By UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 448

You deserved it 3 390

News to me

By looz - 29/12/2008 07:21 - France

Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying, "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up." I certainly wasn't aware. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 906

You deserved it 2 151

By Funless - 18/08/2010 16:52 - United States

Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 609

You deserved it 7 597

Experimenting

By Anonymous - 16/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Englewood

Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 628

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 634

You deserved it 2 892

By schwange - 15/05/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 988

You deserved it 3 893

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 06:00

Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized and we went out to dinner to celebrate. I stepped away to use the bathroom, then came back to a note on the table saying, "I'm going to enjoy single life, thanks!" He left me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 550

alicexox 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:38

isn't the saying: drunk words are sober thoughts? It's not so bad, you obviously wanted to break up with her anyway right? :)

nando92 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:35

haha that sucks... LESSON LEARNED: dont drink so much

Comments

Yarrachel 16

Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:55

Darn, and I almost won!

lizzy337 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:05

Wow...you know there's a app that stops drunk texting?? Something you should consider getting.

alex_vik 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 6:48

There's an app for everything except getting that annoying guy to shut up about it.

venomxprodigy 0

Friday 22 October 2010 5:50

actually there is an app or you could just tell him to stfu yourself now we just need an app to tell the guy telling the annoying guy to shut up(I have just created a paradox oh yeah)

Skull_300 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:10

Sounds like you have a problem...a drinking problem. Good luck to you. ps...Now that you're a Loner, go play with your Boner! haaa haaa

darkpath 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:12

this is why you look at your outbox.

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:14

Were you still drunk when you wrote this?

resonant14 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:19

Perhaps if you had left your phone in your car, it would have been stolen. I'd chalk this up as a hypothetical win - If anything, you'll save money now that you don't have a girlfriend... you thrifty devil, you.