Work: Today, I'm starting a new job. Only problem is, I haven't been...

By Anonymous - 17/11/2016 01:29

Today, I'm starting a new job. Only problem is, I haven't been told what my duties are, who my line manager is, or who to ask if I need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 746

You deserved it 923

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By soconfused - 03/03/2015 10:15 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I have been at my new job for almost a month and still have no idea what I'm doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 348

You deserved it 11 505

By I know nothing - 05/02/2017 07:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I start my second shift at my new job. Apparently, I'm closing by myself. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 940

You deserved it 536

By screwedfortheweek - 28/01/2016 23:39 - United States

Today, I started a new job. After being trained on several obscure computer programs I'm expected to use in just one day, my new boss informed me she's going on a week long vacation starting tomorrow. She's the only other person who knows how this program runs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 864

You deserved it 1 491

By Anonymous - 17/11/2014 16:59 - United States

Today, after driving hundreds of miles to sign the paperwork for my new job, I found out the guy who hired me recently quit, and HR has no idea who I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 559

You deserved it 2 587

First day

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 07:59

Today, it was my first day working at my new job in a hospital with one day of training for a few hours a week ago. I wasn’t shown around and I was told I wouldn’t be alone today. I was. I got called useless because I’m the new girl who didn’t know where to tell people to go, or how to get there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 105

Where am I?

By Morgan Jones - 18/06/2019 20:08

Today, I went to work at my new job, where I thought it would be super easy because I shop there all the time, and already know where everything is. Turns out, they're remodelling the store, so I don't know where anything is anymore, and the bosses get mad at me for being too slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 597

You deserved it 436

Office life sucks

By Anonymous - 02/11/2019 02:00

Today, I was supposed to start a new job. I had accepted a new position with a different company three weeks ago, and gave my notice. At the time, I even trained my replacement. Today, I found out that my new work doesn't need me anymore. So, I'm unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 403

You deserved it 218

Bored senseless

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 16:55 - United States

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 313

You deserved it 2 988

Someone thinks highly of themselves

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 10:00

Today, on my first day, I tried to ask my new boss a question, she visibly recoiled and actually gave me the, “I already have a boyfriend” line, and shut her door in my face, then locked it. I still need my question answered before I can start working, so I guess I’ll just sit and do nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 103

Here I go again

By oakley - 07/01/2017 09:15

Today, I went to start my new job, only to find out that the guy who hired me had no permission to do so. I had to fill out another application, and complete another interview and I still might not get the damn job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 548

You deserved it 768

Welshite 39

Thursday 17 November 2016 16:40

Congratulations, OP. You are now the acting CEO. Go sit in the biggest office you can find and start firing people.

friedpwnadge 25

Thursday 17 November 2016 16:41

...How do they **** up that badly? Just find the nearest position of authority and consult them.

Comments

aggoden_bed 9

Friday 18 November 2016 10:50

The same thing happened to me too. I also did not have a PC for a month. I did get paid so I'm not complaining.

singlesoon 3

Friday 18 November 2016 17:38

Just part of the regular training curriculum for the Psychic Hotline.

arkh_angel 16

Saturday 19 November 2016 3:02

Hi, and welcome to the Trump Tower!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 748

You deserved it 4 499

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 356

You deserved it 4 298

The Top

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 988

You deserved it 3 053

Today, even though I'm the most neat freak germophobe there is, I was diagnosed with scabies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 824

You deserved it 435

Today, my wife asked me to come upstairs, all sexy like. I was sceptical, but I went upstairs after her. When I got there, she handed me a drill and told me to finally get on with building the flat pack dressing table. This is the reason I am sceptical. Romance is a lie kids, never get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 1 189

Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 386

Today, I was going to hang out with the girl I like, because she was leaving for the rest of the Summer. She had to cancel to go shopping with her grandma "all day." At 1 o'clock, she came online and told me how much fun she had with this guy I really don't like. She forgot that she lied to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 306

You deserved it 3 689

Today, my husband told me he's just "not interested" in having sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 190

You deserved it 1 736