Love: Today, I met an attractive girl at a party. I tried to introduce... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By starfox - 24/08/2018 20:30

Today, I met an attractive girl at a party. I tried to introduce myself and shake her hand, but she pulled away. The first words out of her mouth were "Touch me and I'll file a restraining order for you." She was friendly with all the other guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 271

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

JasonThorn 20

Wednesday 15 August 2018 17:02

Translation "I'm a bitch and you should avoid me like the Black Plague."

real life problems 26

Friday 24 August 2018 21:03

Attractive on the outside but ugly on the inside.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 25 August 2018 0:27

Dodged some big crazy there, eh McCloud?

Jr Malvitz 15

Saturday 25 August 2018 5:46

hope he barrel rolled away from her

thejimhawkins 13

Saturday 25 August 2018 7:37

Are you the same guy the girl said made her feel uncomfortable at school, resulting in an in school suspension?

deep deep 6

Saturday 25 August 2018 12:27

maybe she heard something about or its mistake in identity.

Rabite 28

Sunday 26 August 2018 0:55

Well either you have a certain reputation or maybe don't try to touch random people even for a handshake?

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Sunday 26 August 2018 15:19

Plot twist: Op is actually Harvey Weinstein.

Keywords

Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Love Awkward Smells Embarrassing Miscellaneous Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Grieving Music Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy AITA Am I overreacting? Alcohol Transportation Drunk Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 818

You deserved it 9 771

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 998

You deserved it 42 387

The Top

Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 469

You deserved it 10 818

Check out these madmen fly! Well, try to. Who's your fave?

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 27

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 222

You deserved it 44 763

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 569

You deserved it 2 555

Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 4 109

Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went back to Germany. He lovingly said to me, "I will never find another girl like you. Unless I rip off her leg and tear out her eye." I’m an amputee, and was born with a blind eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 762