Intimacy: Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything...

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 21:13 - United States

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 894

You deserved it 3 377

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Creepypasta

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 15:48 - United States - Nashville

Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 016

You deserved it 4 721

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 600

You deserved it 211

Block-cocked

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 19:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 138

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 141

You deserved it 337

You're weird, dude

By Grossed out - 21/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 826

You deserved it 3 985

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 433

You deserved it 4 703

By Anonymous - 03/02/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 284

You deserved it 2 911

By lizownsvirgy - 07/07/2011 19:49 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 296

You deserved it 5 465

By Anonymous - 01/11/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 369

You deserved it 5 988

racerapj 10

Friday 17 February 2012 0:39

Wincest?

CobraKitNu 7

Friday 17 February 2012 0:39

..Wincest?

Comments

aerogxt 7

Saturday 18 February 2012 17:57

Sounds like the time my sister stayed the night at the hotel with me....mmm memories

ROSEisAmazing01 4

Saturday 18 February 2012 23:57

Um. Ew?

aron666 25

Sunday 19 February 2012 0:35

um, he just loves you OP, maybe a little too much?

_spazziee 6

Sunday 19 February 2012 2:18

I'd have to say he loves you to much after the first meet and greet.

FailAllDay247 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 3:53

Did he then rub your thigh?

sammyluvspugs 4

Sunday 19 February 2012 18:05

That should make Thanksgiving awkward...

nani_rox 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 18:22

That is ******* nasty...

JayJavaMonsterr 10

Sunday 19 February 2012 20:52

That's not brotherly love... O.o

tyquavious 0

Monday 20 February 2012 1:10

That must mean you're really hot;)

kirbeaar 19

Monday 20 February 2012 8:44

I have a cousin like that, I feel for you. That is just gross.

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 713

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 432

The Top

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 846

You deserved it 2 701

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 735

You deserved it 9 193

Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 2 198

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "Eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 035

You deserved it 3 393

Today, the lip balms I ordered online finally arrived in the mail. After trying one out, my lips had an allergic reaction. It's a 4-pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 850

You deserved it 1 044

Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 289

You deserved it 73 383