Work: Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As... - FML

By Krystl - 18/09/2016 16:35 - Australia

Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As I was leaving the lady stuck her fist out towards me. After a seconds awkward pause I thought she wanted to fist-bump so stuck mine out and bumped. Turned out she was handing me the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 941

You deserved it 2 160

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sociallyawkward - 19/05/2016 01:52 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 695

You deserved it 3 512

By SarahNB - 01/03/2014 21:09 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 065

You deserved it 16 609

By Anon - 12/01/2012 19:24 - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 5 357

Culture clash

By lmaofuck - 26/05/2016 01:06 - United States - Westerville

Today, I had a guest at my house. I stood up to shake her hand and kiss her on both cheeks, which is common in my culture. When she was kissing my cheeks, I went the opposite way from her and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead. Her eyes went big and I ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 621

You deserved it 1 408

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 4 167

By Kid Lacef - 31/10/2018 15:30

Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 156

You deserved it 379

By Miscellaneous - 17/06/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went in for an interview with a firm where I'd done some interning before. After shaking hands with both the directors, I went to shake hands with one of the director's wives, who also works there. Turns out she was going for a hug and kiss on the cheek. I ended up kissing her on the lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 903

You deserved it 676

By charishard - 04/05/2013 05:17 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 329

You deserved it 35 123

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/01/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761

You deserved it 2 979

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 958

You deserved it 21 612

Next

Top comments

Rawrshi 25

Monday 19 September 2016 11:50

Well, you couldn't leave her hanging.

domolovesyoshi 33

Monday 19 September 2016 11:51

Hahahaha I would've done the same.

Comments

tmj25789 23

Wednesday 21 September 2016 4:26

Don't worry OP. I doubt you would have been the only person to have mistaken that. I hope she laughed it off.

edmunson 22

Wednesday 21 September 2016 13:31

It's generational...she didn't know about fist-bumps and you had no idea. Be cool about it and carry on!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 23 March 2018 4:20

Yeah... doubt they'd know what a fist bump is.

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Kids Parenting DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 739

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 985

You deserved it 6 947

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 457

Today, my dad might be dead. I'm basing this solely on the fact that he hasn't called recently to verbally abuse me as he often does. He constantly beat me as a child, yet now I'm kind of worried for the piece of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 315

You deserved it 1 255

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I stayed in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 232

You deserved it 35 361

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 214

You deserved it 29 099

Today, the cashier at the local grocery store in my area said that I don't look a day over 40. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 099

You deserved it 398