Work: Today, I went in for an interview with a firm where I'd done...

By Miscellaneous - 17/06/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went in for an interview with a firm where I'd done some interning before. After shaking hands with both the directors, I went to shake hands with one of the director's wives, who also works there. Turns out she was going for a hug and kiss on the cheek. I ended up kissing her on the lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 903

You deserved it 676

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Same thing different taste

By santa_maria - 25/08/2011 21:45 - Reunion

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 207

You deserved it 106 794

Missed cues

By Kylene - 23/04/2009 19:51 - United States

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me… so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 780

You deserved it 52 866

By eaglesmile - 03/04/2015 04:37 - India - Mumbai

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 358

You deserved it 8 646

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 05:49 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 984

You deserved it 2 747

Culture clash

By lmaofuck - 26/05/2016 01:06 - United States - Westerville

Today, I had a guest at my house. I stood up to shake her hand and kiss her on both cheeks, which is common in my culture. When she was kissing my cheeks, I went the opposite way from her and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead. Her eyes went big and I ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 621

You deserved it 1 408

By Fred - 26/05/2011 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 135

You deserved it 6 578

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 291

You deserved it 3 587

By anonymous neighbor - 30/01/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 6 641

Am I hired?

By KLM - 14/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I had a job interview. As I walked in, I confidently shook the interviewer's hand, only to say, "I'm doing well, how are you?" before she'd even asked me how I was, or even said anything. The rest of the interview was pretty much a blur of awkwardness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 226

By badjob - 12/09/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I called the company with whom I had a job interview last week, which I thought went great, but hadn't heard back from. One of the interviewers claimed that I tried to grope her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 274

You deserved it 3 090

Lobby_Bee 17

Saturday 17 June 2017 20:25

You'll get a recommendation from her. You're set.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 17 June 2017 20:29

If you don't get a legit job at the company, there might be some gigolo work for you, if your kiss was caliente enough!

Comments

Lobby_Bee 17

Saturday 17 June 2017 20:25

You'll get a recommendation from her. You're set.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 17 June 2017 20:29

If you don't get a legit job at the company, there might be some gigolo work for you, if your kiss was caliente enough!

ArbiterOfFML 24

Sunday 18 June 2017 2:24

i am fyl number 1000

Iamskynet 18

Sunday 18 June 2017 2:53

...and that kids is how I met your mother

jfsiv 17

Sunday 18 June 2017 3:27

ok, this begs for a follow-up

bigtwobah 6

Sunday 18 June 2017 4:22

You can kiss that job goodbye

AverageDayGamer 8

Sunday 18 June 2017 8:38

Learn from a realestate agent. Its all about location, location, location.

pelletman67 16

Sunday 18 June 2017 11:23

HOT!!! I would have welcomed you to the office in a second

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 18 June 2017 20:15

Well, not your fault. You had no way of knowing she was going to go for that kind of greeting. Not like you did it on purpose.

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The Top

Today, I'm on opioids due to severe pelvic pain. Taking them makes me constipated and increases my pain, which leads to taking more painkillers. I can choose to be in agony and the possibility of pooping, or be in slightly less pain and completely bunged up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 946

You deserved it 485

Today, and for the past week, I’ve had a viral bug. Now I can handle the vomiting, the diarrhoea, headaches, muscle weakness, dizziness, fatigue, and coughing. What I cannot handle is how food and drink now taste bad. Like seriously, even water tastes bad. I’m slowly going insane from lack of flavour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 72

The Top

Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 488

You deserved it 7 097

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 33 654

Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 226

Today, I thought a spider had fallen on me, so I wounded up accidentally punching myself. Twice. I hate nose bleeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 681

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 253

You deserved it 7 251

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 115

You deserved it 3 472