By SexxiKitty - 19/12/2015 22:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I mistook a tree in my back yard as an intruder and called the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 408
You deserved it 10 228

SexxiKitty tells us more.

SexxiKitty 20

Hey everyone! OP here hoping to give you all some clarity! First off, I wasn't high but I was tired and I wasn't wearing my glasses. I live on a farm in the middle of bumble-**** nowhere and we have a small tree, about 5'6" tall, a little ways off our back porch. It was about 2:00 a.m. and my young daughter had gotten sick on her sheets so I was running to put them in the washing machine (which is in the barn) so that they wouldn't stain. I heard a rustling sound and I thought I saw a person moving out of the corner of my eye. Without my glasses and the fact that it was really dark mixed with my overall anxiety because my husband wasn't home caused me to drop the sheets and run back into the house to protect my kids. I know it's stupid and really horrible that I wasted precious resources on something so trivial but I was terrified. My husband is the head of a very small drug task force and even though we live in a pretty sleepy town, he still gets threats now and again. Furthermore we recently moved from Sacramento because I was almost kidnapped about 2 years ago while I was walking home from the park with my kids and I didn't want to take ANY chances. I was treated with respect by the great officers who came out and my husband was immediately notified. He wasn't able to come home right away but one of his off duty officers came by and stayed on the couch the rest of the night. Thank you all for the well wishes and I appreciate all the great puns!! :)

Top comments

You should've called the tree removal company. Police aren't properly trained in that.

Better safe than sorry. You'd be in a much worse situation if it were an intruder and you assumed it was a tree. I'm sure the police get these kind of calls all the time, so no worries.

Comments

Take this as an excuse to get more sleep OP. Hopefully the cops weren't mad at you. Lol

moocowmilk0 19

dw OP I feel ya.. I said hi to a stop sign .-.

gobiteme2 34

Did the police yell out "Halt or I will Taze you"

they didn't have to, the intruder was stiff as a board. he was just standing there like a bump on a log.

pacman490 21

Depending on how old the tree is, YOU might be the intruder

Exactly how high were you at the time?

"I swear, officer! That tree wasn't there until an hour ago!"

wordygirl 11

That's hysterical!! Reading that made me laugh so hard! I can't see shit in the dark. Mailboxes are people and trash cans are dogs. I feel for ya! It's pathetic.

This reminds me of that one FML where the guy mistook a coatstand for a creeper in a club and told a bouncer.