Miscellaneous: Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at... - FML

By JustWashedTheseJeans - 25/10/2016 01:05

Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 194

You deserved it 1 927

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Upside-Down Sleeper. - 02/05/2015 21:59 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 781

You deserved it 5 385

Long drive home

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 04:01 - Australia - Kellyville

Today, at work, I shat myself at my desk thinking it was a fart. I had to waddle down to the parking garage and drive myself home. I’m a grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 404

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 453

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 962

By tracelee - 03/03/2009 09:22 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 526

You deserved it 13 246

What goes up…

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 11:10 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 769

You deserved it 10 797

No exit! No choice!

By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 03:00

Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 249

You deserved it 301

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 992

You deserved it 961

By VMV - 01/02/2013 23:53 - Spain - Abrera

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 173

You deserved it 9 429

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 630

You deserved it 3 138

Next

Top comments

earljonez 22

Tuesday 25 October 2016 16:29

You gotta be careful with those parked cars, they can be vicious.....

stevenJB 25

Tuesday 25 October 2016 16:33

Was it a Chevy? I'm sure you startled it too and it broke down right then and there.

Comments

abNormal62 23

Wednesday 26 October 2016 3:14

Probably time for an oil change then for both of you

somedudesomewher 29

Wednesday 26 October 2016 3:32

Hmmm... Maybe parked cars should be an addition to this years Halloween themes.

SomeRandomUser 19

Wednesday 26 October 2016 4:37

"I was walking, minding my own business. And I turned the corner and saw a car! It was just parked there, you know, looking so freaky."

rodrigun449 16

Wednesday 26 October 2016 4:45

It's ok, you knew that deep down, it was a Decepticon, and your Autobot instincts were just kicking in.

RaNdOmIzEd2017 14

Wednesday 26 October 2016 6:26

It was just... standing there... MENACINGLY!!

PhoenixChick 26

Wednesday 26 October 2016 21:43

To be fair, a car dressed like a clown and holding a machete would scare anyone.

tigeresscrazy 12

Friday 28 October 2016 19:53

That happened to a friend of mine when someone snuck up behind her last Halloween night I got startled by my reflection in the window didn't pee myself but still felt really foolish

Catdragon 40

Tuesday 15 November 2016 3:30

This sounds similar to what happened to me, except I didn't piss myself. I was turning at an intersection when in the reflection of the mirror I saw a moving car going at an alarming speed and somehow my brain derped out and thought it was coming from the opposite direction of the intersection. I nearly had a heart attack

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 653

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 492

You deserved it 15 057

The Top

Today, I overheard my mother trying to convince my brother that it's okay that our aunt and uncle are also step-brother and step-sister. This sprouted from an earlier discussion of how it's normal for people to be related multiple ways, like with us and our cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 146

You deserved it 916

Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 410

You deserved it 14 618

Today, I accidentally spilled red wine on my cat. She ran away and licked the wine off before I had a chance to clean her. My mother is deeply concerned our cat is dying. I'm trying to tell her to wait 24 hours before taking her to the vet's, simply because I think my cat is hung over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 852

You deserved it 1 274

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 051

You deserved it 8 053

Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I'm the current nanny. I found out I'm being fired by the new nanny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 340

You deserved it 3 116

Today, I was so lonely, I dragged out a conversation with a lady who called to get me to make an appointment to give blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 891

You deserved it 1 342