Sex, Lonely and Intimacy: Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think...

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 03:37 - United States

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 283

You deserved it 8 596

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Same thing different taste

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 6 244

By CollegeFreshman - 11/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 610

You deserved it 3 749

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 450

You deserved it 42 552

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 312

You deserved it 840

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 14 406

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 207

You deserved it 37 101

By openmouthinsertfoot - 07/12/2010 17:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 656

You deserved it 41 902

By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 02:43 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 5 695

By hugedissapointment - 09/08/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 932

You deserved it 63 633

By mrboston - 01/09/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 646

You deserved it 43 242

DarDarAttack 0

Friday 24 December 2010 8:59

Nothing's wrong with being a virgin. (:

kristen1823 0

Friday 24 December 2010 9:55

Your first time having sex should be a special thing. Save yourself for the one you truly love. There's absolutely no rush.

Comments

Quid_Pro_Quo 1

Friday 16 December 2016 5:56

That's a smart trick lol

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Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

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Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 412

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

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You deserved it 4 564

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Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 794

You deserved it 35 420

Today, my sister and I were talking about our salaries. She just graduated from university and will start working soon. It turns out that she'll earn more money than me. I have been working for 4 years. However, my earnings are still less than those of a worker with no experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 222

Today, I found out that I work with a bunch of sex addicts. One of them is my cousin, and she did NOT hold back when telling me her and her fiancé's plans about swinging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 213

Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 064

You deserved it 78 727

Today, despite being married and renting my own apartment, I can't fulfil my teenage dream of slamming my wife on the sofa and pounding her like cheap mince, all because it would apparently "defile the sofa for the children." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 417

Today, I was in class and I smelled what I thought was month-old trash coming from a student in front of me. I politely ignored the smell, only to realize a few hours later that the persistent smell wasn't coming from every student in my university, but was from my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 235

You deserved it 8 429

Same thing different taste

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