Sex, Lonely and Intimacy: Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think...

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 03:37 - United States

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 283

You deserved it 8 596

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Same thing different taste

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 6 244

By CollegeFreshman - 11/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 610

You deserved it 3 749

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 450

You deserved it 42 552

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 312

You deserved it 840

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 14 406

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 207

You deserved it 37 101

By openmouthinsertfoot - 07/12/2010 17:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 656

You deserved it 41 902

By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 02:43 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 5 695

By hugedissapointment - 09/08/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 932

You deserved it 63 633

By mrboston - 01/09/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 646

You deserved it 43 242

DarDarAttack 0

Friday 24 December 2010 8:59

Nothing's wrong with being a virgin. (:

kristen1823 0

Friday 24 December 2010 9:55

Your first time having sex should be a special thing. Save yourself for the one you truly love. There's absolutely no rush.

Comments

xxtacos4lifexx 4

Sunday 26 December 2010 5:14

this man is clever! who cares if your a virgin?

davigator 0

Sunday 26 December 2010 22:34

That's more of a mlig than an fml; smart thing to do if you want a nap in a loud environment.

i_Tanya 3

Monday 27 December 2010 5:06

how is this an fml?

chocolatebabe88 0

Monday 27 December 2010 5:32

uhh kinda stupid and cute... when they see no girl comin out , ur just gonna look more stupid....

prontopup20 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 3:13

get laid

hahasluts 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 3:59

you deserve it for being a liar. you also deserve it for not A. ******* the sock, because you can't get a real ****** and B. sleeping instead of going to find women to ****

lemonpie93 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 7:50

Hahaha, I would do the same thing! (I'm a virgin too) Although, I don't think it means the same thing when your a girl....... Darn.......... I'm envious that men have codes.