Animals: Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was...

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 896

You deserved it 3 639

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 949

You deserved it 4 834

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 848

You deserved it 9 501

By How? - 29/09/2018 10:30 - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 025

You deserved it 212

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 182

You deserved it 2 141

Get the **** outta here, kid

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 923

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 166

You deserved it 4 374

All in a day's work!

By Joshtodon - 21/08/2018 22:00

Today, I was unloading tile boxes out of my pickup truck into this lady's garage. As I grabbed the last 50-pound box, a passing bird shat on my forehead. Green ooze ran down my whole face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 815

You deserved it 169

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 9 202

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 663

You deserved it 3 416

By Keaton - 15/06/2010 16:58 - United States

Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 360

You deserved it 44 987

Savvysass 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 16:28

Facial!! Don't feel too bad, some people pay big bucks at spas to have shit smooshed all over their faces.

lovexinstead 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 16:25

Eww, lol. Those kinds of things don't happen too often XD

Comments

aTRAGEDY 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 23:43

lol @ 20 lmao

mohameddiop309 0

Monday 9 November 2009 0:34

birds point of view "today, while on my daily flight, i crashed into this weirdo guy that wanted to see if a bird has a penis so i crapped on him, FMl. you deserve it for being an animal sex offender

ILIEKMUDKIPZ 0

Monday 9 November 2009 1:33

this is the least funny comment ever

Sadistic_Spartan 0

Monday 9 November 2009 1:41

i second that opinion :)

chrisgllgs 0

Monday 9 November 2009 8:27

#20's was funnier :p

Sadistic_Spartan 0

Monday 9 November 2009 1:09

PWNED. pure and simple.

shanisdaman 0

Monday 9 November 2009 1:15

AHAHAHAH i literally LOLLED for this..

kyrinp 2

Monday 9 November 2009 1:56

that gives a whole new meaning to shit faced

couny343 1

Monday 9 November 2009 2:21

how do u run into a bird??

haneki_fml 0

Monday 9 November 2009 3:27

LMAO! Don't worry, I've been pooped on by a bird before too, it'll be funny to you in about a year.

k43L1 0

Monday 9 November 2009 5:17

how do you run into a bird? o.O either way, getting pooped on by a bird is supposed to be good luck! (at least that's what we tell the tourists...)

dysfunctionalfam_fml 0

Monday 9 November 2009 6:02

EPIC! YDI for being so stupid and hitting a bird with your face

dolor_fml 0

Monday 9 November 2009 8:50

OWNED!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Am I overreacting? Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, a field engineer decided to rework everyone's schedule, just because he couldn't be bothered to do a full day's work. Now two of us who would've been busy all day are sat on our phones, and he's off out on "errands". How a day goes depends on how bothered he can be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 81

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 42 712

The Top

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 375

You deserved it 2 651

Today, I took my best friend out for a night in town, after he got dumped by his girlfriend recently. As we were walking around, we passed a group of hot women, a couple who were checking him out. Trying to be encouraging, I said "He's single!" and winked. One of the girls was his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 256

You deserved it 10 011

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 404

You deserved it 8 435

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 898

You deserved it 46 648

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 208

You deserved it 64 776

Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 1 821

Same thing different taste

Get the **** outta here, kid

All in a day's work!

Top comments

Comments