Intimacy: Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can...

By Steph - 21/06/2009 12:05 - Bulgaria

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 445

You deserved it 3 282

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Same thing different taste

Friends theme music plays

By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 05:01

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 201

STOP!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 20:00

Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 167

Cursed buildings

By investing in earplugs - 23/02/2022 05:59

Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 330

By ineedsleep - 30/10/2014 14:15 - Finland - J?rvenp

Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 705

You deserved it 2 753

Gentrification strikes!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2020 06:01

Today, I actually can't choose what's worse, hearing my direct neighbour having really loud sex on a regular basis, including furniture breaking, or hearing people cheering and playing the piano in the same room. Upper-class fantasy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 424

You deserved it 242

Neighbors from hell

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 06:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, and intermittently ever since I moved in, the guy who lives in the apartment next to me keeps having loud sex with his hookup of the week, while I’m trying to watch TV, eat dinner, etc. I can’t even complain about him to my landlord. Why? The noisy guy is my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 173

Sort yourselves out

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 98

The sound of silence

By hearing too much - 03/11/2019 02:00

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 228

By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 182

You deserved it 3 160

By op-poopy - 22/04/2011 14:26 - Canada

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 064

You deserved it 2 598

purple_riot 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 20:12

What about when the hookers take a shit?

heatherrrx 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 20:09

Move out! Plain and simple. Either that or report him because prostitution is illegal, so maybe he'll get thrown in jail and he won't bother you anymore.

Comments

Nakedsquirrel 5

Monday 22 June 2009 3:47

It's the last line of the FML that made me laugh at this.

beaverdogmouse 0

Monday 22 June 2009 3:56

YDI for not killing your creepy upstairs neighbor.

platypuscatrat 0

Monday 22 June 2009 4:54

YDI for not killing yourself.

plexico 3

Monday 22 June 2009 5:08

Can I vote for the "*****"? Is anyone keeping track if "*****" are beating "sex with random hookers?"

chunk88 0

Monday 22 June 2009 5:15

god that sucks!!!

happygoluckyhh 0

Monday 22 June 2009 5:25

"every few NIGHT??" It's either "every few NIGHTS" or "every NIGHT"

shadowsx1101 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 18:56

I'm Sorry, But nobody likes grammar police....

deee___jaaayyy 0

Monday 22 June 2009 5:26

I know whats worst Having the guy ******** as hes doing it with the hooker

dappledsunlight 0

Monday 22 June 2009 5:49

#73, get over your self. if you read the stuff and the bottom you'd see that the FML writer is from Bulgaria, so english is most likely their second language. why dont you go write a FML in bulgarian in perfect grammar and we'll see how well you do huh?