Intimacy: Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me....

By xoragebaby - 24/01/2015 01:29 - United States

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 721

You deserved it 5 044

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Same thing different taste

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 220

You deserved it 9 936

By failureatlife - 27/04/2014 19:16 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 354

You deserved it 6 189

By Anonymous - 12/02/2012 04:52 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 8 488

Snooze fest

By Karly - 03/02/2022 20:00

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 238

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 763

You deserved it 15 173

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 32 281

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 353

By bobin - 29/08/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 290

You deserved it 6 318

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 982

You deserved it 4 834

By FYLyfer - 26/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 036

You deserved it 5 616

SassyGoblin1198 9

Saturday 24 January 2015 12:36

On the other hand: "today, my girlfriend fell asleep on me during sex. She was having a good dream though. Of me? Oh no. She was dreaming of chopping lettuce. FML" ?

DishnobFruitCum 5

Saturday 24 January 2015 12:20

The real FML is that you fell asleep during sex. It would seem you need to straighten some things out with your boyfriend.

Comments

xoragebaby 17

Saturday 24 January 2015 16:25

This actually happened a while ago, and I didn't realize the site edits your posts (because it happened during 69, even more awkward because I fell asleep on top of him). Regardless, I've never been able to live this story down and I'm glad everyone finds this hilarious as well! And yes. That boyfriend sucked in more than just the bedroom, and is now making other chicks fall asleep during intimate times I'm sure haha.

gintwinsmoore 20

Saturday 24 January 2015 19:55

you're awesome lmao!!!!

buckdharma 36

Saturday 24 January 2015 20:02

Did your dream boss fire you for sampling?

Elsweyr_fml 9

Saturday 24 January 2015 20:46

You are great!

JNOV 8

Monday 26 January 2015 13:25

Funny because if you were still dating I'm sure you'd be defending how good he was but because you're not anymore "oh yeah he sucked."

patrickalamo 47

Saturday 24 January 2015 16:44

A supporting story on why a higher education is important.

sammyjanette 17

Saturday 24 January 2015 19:01

Maybe their career is cooking.

VioletSkies 21

Saturday 24 January 2015 20:12

You can get degrees in culinary. Maybe the career they chose is food related like a chef, catering service, etc.

smokecloud_ 37

Saturday 24 January 2015 20:34

Yeah, my executive chef makes six figures and started out as a dishwasher ten years ago.

RobinGoodfellow 47

Sunday 25 January 2015 2:48

That's incredibly rude and ignorant. Should I assume you don't have a job yourself? Because you clearly don't understand that the economy is shite and that higher education doesn't equal immediate, higher pay at better jobs.