Health: Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have...

By walnutbladder - 07/01/2011 21:46 - United States

Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 815

You deserved it 4 079

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Same thing different taste

Piss poor performance

By kelsey - 02/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, at the age of 22, if I need to pee, I have less than a minute to get to a toilet before I pee myself. It’s been like that since I was a kid and my family won’t stop making fun of me for not growing out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 114

By Peepants - 03/03/2016 23:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 077

You deserved it 4 730

By sarahrachel - 15/12/2015 03:30 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 5 053

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 113

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 144

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 130

You deserved it 53 799

By "Jam2019" - 15/02/2019 14:00

Today, despite using the bathroom before I left my house, then at the bus station 10 minutes later, I still had to get off my bus halfway into my hour long journey to pee in a back alley or I would have wet myself. I'm 24 and this has happened twice in the last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 167

You deserved it 246

Just pish yerself

By Anonymous - 30/10/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I went to the store. In the span of 10 minutes, I went from not needing to pee, to pissing myself in the middle of the crowded store. It wasn’t even just a little bit, it was a full-on stream, and there were no toilets in this store. I’m only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 128

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 395

By PeedMom - 16/03/2018 09:00 - United States - Cedar Bluff

Today, I had to pee really badly. I rushed to the bathroom, pulled down my pants, and sat on the toilet. After a few seconds of peeing, I realized I had only pulled down my pants. Not my underpants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 015

You deserved it 1 843

key_2010 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:12

You need Depends.

Penaman 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:10

That would really suck if you are with a group of people.

Comments

blahhhX 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 5:38

you should get that checked out.

xgetxbentx 13

Sunday 9 January 2011 8:41

you should probably see a doctor about that

Jaykayfu 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 11:30

Ever been to Raging Waters ? [;

wreckfish1 0

Monday 10 January 2011 3:57

wait so when ever u hear water running. what if ur taking a piss. does that count?

forgetspaces 0

Monday 10 January 2011 6:55

lilmissfml17 0

Monday 10 January 2011 21:22

I have 2 words for you, my friend. ADULT DIAPERS! Or, you know, just carry around a BUNCH of water bottles ;)

bengermin 5

Monday 6 June 2011 8:07

People think adult diapers are so bad, when actually they're quite comfy.

emodude44 0

Monday 17 January 2011 14:39

*Water noise*

mrd10 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 6:23

same here it doesn't rly work tho I don't use the bathroom in school much but ya can still hear your friends when they do

MikeD321 1

Thursday 4 August 2011 6:33

blatter of a 2 year old

cherrypie22 6

Monday 12 September 2011 3:38

How hard can it be for the op to hold it for 2 mins?! All she has to do is not pee when she hears water... NOT THAT HARD.

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 813

You deserved it 9 769

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 815

You deserved it 3 069

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 138

You deserved it 6 606

Today, I kicked my partner of 8 years out after confirming she was indeed going speed dating while keeping me occupied, going to couples' therapy, and doing work on our rental property. All a ruse. She's a tricky one, my EX missus. Nah bitch, nah. Take the lies elsewhere and we're flushing all these years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 133

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 476

You deserved it 12 089

Today, I was disciplining one of my students for behavior, and he started to roll his eyes every time I was trying to teach the lesson. So I threatened to write him up. After looking closely at the student, I realized he has a lazy roaming eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 015

You deserved it 37 256

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 428