Love: Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest...

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By gerontofuck - 15/04/2014 21:55 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 879

You deserved it 4 687

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Same thing different taste

By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 2 419

By Eimii - 06/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 171

You deserved it 3 312

By noosher0990 - 18/02/2010 00:30

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 961

You deserved it 2 774

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 324

You deserved it 5 912

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 05:17 - United States

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 149

You deserved it 3 563

Bizarre love square

By Lucky - 18/09/2023 10:00

Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 128

The neighbor from Hell

By Creeped - 27/09/2012 08:19 - United States

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 865

You deserved it 1 818

TMI

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 21:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 115

Forever alone, forever

By AloneAtPerkins - 14/06/2020 05:04

Today, I realized that I've only had 3 men show interest in me: A blind man, a drunk, and a guy so desperate, he's been trying for over 5 years of solid "No"s. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 380

By anonymous neighbor - 30/01/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 790

You deserved it 6 644

cakefete2 30

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:40

Not so much huge as long.

SamSwebb 24

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:15

Better than no-one ... I guess :)

Comments

hxnnxh 14

Thursday 17 April 2014 22:14

Lucky you OP!

BAD2891 4

Thursday 17 April 2014 23:53

At least its not like your 70 yr old Aunt or Grandma or something like that.

ConstantlyAnna 8

Friday 18 April 2014 12:52

Maybe you need to try and meet more women. Like, via the internet ;)

amanduhweezy 5

Saturday 19 April 2014 4:22

They say 70 is the new 40.

thew_fml 14

Sunday 20 April 2014 16:43

she might have mad skills........

Schobot 10

Monday 21 April 2014 1:09

Perhaps you shouldn't of mowed the lawn for her that one time.

cypherwars 15

Thursday 24 April 2014 0:20

good going stifler

Yayabean1590 2

Monday 28 April 2014 17:59

**** her! Have you seen 'The Yes Man'

pyrestriker 6

Wednesday 30 April 2014 7:26

hit it!

Cwhite118 6

Tuesday 10 June 2014 9:12

Age and experience!

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The Top

Today, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. I panicked and hid under the table because I wasn’t expecting anyone and I have minor social anxiety. It was just Amazon dropping off a package. I made eye contact with the delivery guy through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 471

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 979

You deserved it 252 044

The Top

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 504

You deserved it 3 130

Today, I got back from an 8-month deployment ready for relaxation and lots of sex with my husband. He said he’s come to realise he likes living alone, didn’t miss me much, and hasn’t been looking forward to me coming home. He gave me divorce papers and kicked me out to go sleep in a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 183

Today, my boyfriend turned down sex so he could masturbate to his favourite Japanese cartoon porn. I was obviously horny but his compromise was to offer to watch it and masturbate together. I’m an adult damnit, I want sex, not pissing cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 351

Today, while cashiering, I rang out a father and his son who looked about eight years-old. The dad jokingly told his son that I was a 10/10 in looks. The son then looked at me for a few seconds and said, "No, probably more like a seven." Thanks a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 737

You deserved it 222

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 252

Today, I'm home alone and it blows, especially since my wife has to stay at the hospital to get chemo, and I can't stay with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 120

Same thing different taste

Bizarre love square

The neighbor from Hell

TMI

Forever alone, forever

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