Love: Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest... - FML

By gerontofuck - 15/04/2014 21:55 - Canada - Red Deer

Spicy

Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 869

You deserved it 4 684

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 368

You deserved it 2 418

By Eimii - 06/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 157

You deserved it 3 312

By noosher0990 - 18/02/2010 00:30

Spicy

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 951

You deserved it 2 772

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 314

You deserved it 5 911

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 05:17 - United States

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 145

You deserved it 3 562

Bizarre love square

By Lucky - 18/09/2023 10:00

Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 125

The neighbor from Hell

By Creeped - 27/09/2012 08:19 - United States

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 857

You deserved it 1 815

TMI

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 21:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 111

Forever alone, forever

By AloneAtPerkins - 14/06/2020 05:04

Today, I realized that I've only had 3 men show interest in me: A blind man, a drunk, and a guy so desperate, he's been trying for over 5 years of solid "No"s. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 376

By anonymous neighbor - 30/01/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 6 641

Next

Top comments

cakefete2 30

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:40

Not so much huge as long.

SamSwebb 24

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:15

Better than no-one ... I guess :)

Comments

NickACD 27

Friday 19 June 2015 6:46

Better than Sharon Stone

Startled_Toenail 21

Friday 16 September 2016 19:48

I'm a sixteen year old girl and the only male interest I get is creepy old Foreign guys on Facebook. :/ not that I'm really bothered at this age anyways.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 15 067

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, I found out that my manager has been stealing my ideas. The worst part? He made me work overtime to complete the project that I originally proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 68

Today, based on the significant time I spend at work, my phone is automatically labeling my work destination as my home destination and my home destination as my workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 444

You deserved it 488

Today, I went to tell my neighbour I was sure his son had been taking pictures of me from his window. He laughed in my face, then assured me no one on planet earth could possibly want photos of my fat ass and double chin, then shut the door in my face, still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 302

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 276

Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 347

You deserved it 3 676

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 435

You deserved it 7 376