Animals: Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with...

By bored2death - 23/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 257

You deserved it 6 220

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Same thing different taste

By HelpMe - 25/02/2014 09:59 - United Kingdom - Galashiels

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 991

You deserved it 3 848

By Beeisc00l - 05/10/2011 18:58 - Reserved

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 615

You deserved it 22 521

By pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 522

You deserved it 29 604

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 21:48 - United States - Merrimack

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 769

You deserved it 2 426

What a cozy moment

By ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 729

You deserved it 382

By animallover - 26/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 576

You deserved it 5 302

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 879

You deserved it 7 341

By LG - 17/03/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 663

You deserved it 4 145

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 125

You deserved it 7 199

By Anonymous - 03/09/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 373

You deserved it 6 880

justsayfuck 5

Saturday 24 July 2010 1:58

You liar! You forced him :o

ibmike22 13

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:01

i wish i had a guinea pig:( oh well, the only friend i need is my fridge

Comments

jazzy2588 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 0:21

you Don't know dat for sure lol

xoxospontaneousx_fml 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 5:41

are you sure the guinea pig is not actually willing but is being forced?

ray5567 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:14

aww you need to go make some friends... :)

damian25 0

Friday 19 August 2011 7:19

who says he's willing he's locked in a cage

xfxckxyeax 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 2:40

Is this Katie? XD

rawrzorz17 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 18:00

same here, bro.

fogrunner 13

Saturday 17 September 2011 5:41

guinea pigs >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> people. Also, they need fellow guinea pigs in their lives. Kind of like you seem to need fellow humans in yours. I'm not sure it's even legal (where I live) to keep solitary guinea pigs! Thanks in advance.

melnoi 0

Monday 23 January 2012 7:06

ha no they are called that cause they used to cost one "guinea".

sasha_is_my_name 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 7:00

Does the pet really have a choice?

ryanisexy 5

Friday 3 February 2012 23:07

Instead of wasting your time on the computer, go make some friends!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 157

Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 249

You deserved it 34 501

Today, I overheard my wife telling our daughter that getting married young is like a “long, slow, painful dream-killing death, played out over decades.” We got married when I was 18 and she was 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 301

Today, my boyfriend was shaving his beard in the bathroom when I left. An hour later, I found him exasperated after having shaved half his body. I had to help him shave every nook and cranny left because he said he was in too deep and couldn't turn back. Yes, his bumhole too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 973

You deserved it 3 685

Today, I realized that since moving in with my boyfriend and adopting two kittens, I feel more alone than ever. He cuddles the kittens more than me, he doesn’t want to hang out with me at home anymore. Is this normal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 187

Today, I got overly excited because someone texted me, but then realized that moments before, I had sent myself a message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 440

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 536

Same thing different taste

What a cozy moment

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