Intimacy: Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when...

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 250

You deserved it 32 739

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Same thing different taste

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 7 731

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 5 688

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 654

You deserved it 6 224

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 545

You deserved it 6 494

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 269

You deserved it 13 764

By confused - 28/09/2011 04:55 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 216

You deserved it 8 725

By merpaderp14 - 09/09/2013 06:15 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 120

You deserved it 5 972

By FYLyfer - 26/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 036

You deserved it 5 616

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 472

You deserved it 2 108

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 982

You deserved it 19 056

Shayton 12

Saturday 2 June 2012 16:18

Bacon=sex in your mouth

tony1891 22

Saturday 2 June 2012 16:18

gotta love Bacon.

Comments

JoeParris 1

Tuesday 12 June 2012 13:49

Doesn't matter, had sex?

RemixV4 1

Wednesday 13 June 2012 2:39

I'd have done the same thing.

Lilyracheled 5

Friday 15 June 2012 10:45

I'm impressed that you only told him this today, but he's had enough chances to make it a regular thing.

nesteremily 31

Saturday 30 June 2012 13:46

that's exactly something my BF would do....

onorexveritas 23

Wednesday 4 July 2012 8:19

that's hilarious lol

krazy_bitch 0

Sunday 15 July 2012 2:07

Bacon = sex in a skillet ;D

DinosaursAreCute 0

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:22

Best post ever made XD it bfs halarious

scenekid06 5

Sunday 19 August 2012 10:08

well..... maybe you shouldn't have told him that there OP

Fatmangotmypie1 7

Monday 8 October 2012 16:27

Hey that'd set me off

thestoryofmylyf 20

Wednesday 31 October 2012 20:57

Lol, sorry but thts kinda funny

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Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 488

You deserved it 15 053

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 973

You deserved it 4 287

The Top

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 886

You deserved it 9 125

Today, my mom was on the phone when she decided to blurt out that she got me probiotics for my stomach issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 163

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 922

You deserved it 11 774

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 117

You deserved it 34 789

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 55 375

Today, while applying for jobs, every single application has been giving me the error message, "Name not valid." Sorry the name my parents gave me isn’t good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 115

Same thing different taste

And they say romance is dead…

Hot and… greasy

What a Q-tip

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