Intimacy: Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when...

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 250

You deserved it 32 739

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 7 731

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 5 688

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 654

You deserved it 6 224

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 545

You deserved it 6 494

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 269

You deserved it 13 764

By confused - 28/09/2011 04:55 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 216

You deserved it 8 725

By merpaderp14 - 09/09/2013 06:15 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 120

You deserved it 5 972

By FYLyfer - 26/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 036

You deserved it 5 616

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 472

You deserved it 2 108

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 982

You deserved it 19 056

Shayton 12

Saturday 2 June 2012 16:18

Bacon=sex in your mouth

tony1891 22

Saturday 2 June 2012 16:18

gotta love Bacon.

Comments

Mr_Que_Dijo23 5

Sunday 3 June 2012 2:48

Lik lil' wayne says "I'm bringin home the bacon i'm fuckn mrs.piggy" haha

supercalyyy 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:12

I wonder what he says to a bacon cheeseburger

PInK_ExCiTeD 7

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:16

C'mon dude we are talking about bacon! I mean who doesn't LOVE bacon? Lol

drawmyhearton_fml 3

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:34

That's hilarious and you deserved it

SwordOfTheSky 4

Sunday 3 June 2012 6:09

Rub some bacon on it

wildsweetchild 19

Sunday 3 June 2012 6:13

He's got a great sense of humor, you on the other hand...not so much!

soxnroxs 8

Sunday 3 June 2012 9:33

That is mad hot. Bacon ROCKS!

BecomeMine 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 10:19

lol so when your horny, you just ask " wanna make some piglets???" what??

shuoq76 10

Sunday 3 June 2012 15:23

Day. Made.

e8bikergrunt 2

Sunday 3 June 2012 16:25

Maybe he thinks you're a pig.

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Love AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Sleep Cute My ex Shopping Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 488

You deserved it 15 053

Today, I came home from class to find a nasty note on my roommate's toaster oven. Apparently, cleaning it once a week isn't enough, and she wants it cleaned right after using it, which she never told me all school year. I'm banned from using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 330

The Top

Today, I have polymyositis. A muscle disease. Pretty advanced. I'm only able to work a few hours a week. In 2018 my roommate assaulted me in a drunken blackout. My boss moved me into her windowless garage. She and her husband run a catering business. They steal card tips, and cheat on their taxes. I have nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 124

Today, my mom fought with me again for missing an "important" 4th of July family barbecue. I was working until the morning, finishing grad school applications. There are always family events, and also apparently my brother missing the same barbecue to party with friends is perfectly fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 140

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 324

You deserved it 5 601

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 009

You deserved it 3 209

Today, I had to carry the dead weight of my 90-pound husky upstairs to the bath because he hates it. He cried the entire time, loudly. He then rolled in the dirt when I let him outside to pee not even an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 813

You deserved it 535

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 957

Same thing different taste

And they say romance is dead…

Hot and… greasy

What a Q-tip

Top comments

Comments