Intimacy: Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years...

By prinzess - 09/12/2010 14:20 - Germany

Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 230

You deserved it 5 912

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Same thing different taste

By Shelling Ford - 25/08/2015 11:55 - Germany - Munich

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 261

You deserved it 3 320

By stelno - 18/06/2009 13:33 - United States

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 64 653

By JennaMarie - 26/07/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 390

You deserved it 17 790

Still a better a love story than Alien vs. Predator

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 273

By wrecked - 09/06/2014 21:03 - United States

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 362

You deserved it 5 627

By justawallflower - 30/11/2014 02:06 - United States - Elyria

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 156

You deserved it 3 152

Impossible

By Anonymous - 06/06/2011 14:18

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 208

You deserved it 4 135

By Anonymous - 28/12/2013 05:10 - United States - Novi

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 010

You deserved it 3 581

You haven't changed

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I talked to my ex from Uni for the first time in 10 years. I told her my wife and I just had a baby, and her immediate response was, "I WAS A BABY ONCE!" What the hell did I see in her? FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 233

Bizarre love square

By Lucky - 18/09/2023 10:00

Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 125

knight0748 5

Thursday 9 December 2010 19:04

Tell her that's fine, in a few years you'll trade her in for a newer and younger one anyway.

fatfatgoeshome 8

Thursday 9 December 2010 18:57

At least you have her now! ....yay!

Comments

justbigbs 6

Wednesday 15 December 2010 2:53

wow thats cold, sounds like she aint happy, test your food! and stop life insurance reasons not to get married people

jazzboo10 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 3:08

damn that's ****** up.. I would seriously question her feelings.. and y we got married.. smh all bad...

Peaceluver123 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 21:40

Lol.. that's mean

Peaceluver123 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 21:40

Lol.. that's mean

beller45 3

Wednesday 20 April 2011 1:43

**** that saggy titty's bitch

NickyK 25

Friday 27 May 2011 0:12

Sounds like George Lopez.

keys1 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 0:04

ouchh shallow mucg

Arcangel196 0

Tuesday 25 September 2012 19:44

Should've slapped her

Arcangel196 0

Tuesday 25 September 2012 19:44

Should've slapped her

Lufgow 7

Saturday 7 February 2015 22:01

LMAO is all I have to say.

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Cheating Suspicious Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 3 461

Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I realised what kind of man I married when I finally shelved his book, "Getting Things Done", still untouched 3 months after buying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 409

You deserved it 2 674

Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 844

You deserved it 2 989

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 026

You deserved it 6 251

Today, I learned that it isn’t normal to fart hundreds of times a day, no matter what I eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 121

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 208

You deserved it 37 101

Today, snow finally arrived in my area, in very large quantities. Also today, I seem to have caught my dad's cold. The town is too snowed in for traveling and my medications are running low, so I guess we'll suffer together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 85