Animals: Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work... - FML

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By dogproblems - 27/01/2015 15:09 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 525

You deserved it 3 564

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Same thing different taste

Doghouse

By Krissi - 21/08/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 522

By Beard - 08/11/2016 11:14

Today, I shaved my beard that I wanted to grow for winter, into a goatee for a Skype interview. On the day, the interviewer only used audio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 309

You deserved it 1 820

Idle hands

By workaholic - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 592

You deserved it 3 083

Back to reality

By Herbiee - 18/08/2010 12:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 13 107

By StudMuffinette - 18/07/2011 19:40 - United States

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 282

You deserved it 2 980

Tasty treat

By Rayleigh - 02/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I was excited to try my new skincare mask. My dog apparently thought I had turned into some kind of monster and barked hysterically for twenty minutes before lunging at my face and licking it off. So much for self-care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 14/05/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 866

You deserved it 5 449

By Beardedlady - 27/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Madison

Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 635

You deserved it 420

He's still a very good boy

By Anonymous - 28/11/2024 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my dog barked at his own reflection in the mirror for five full minutes. When I tried to calm him down, he started barking at me like I was in on the conspiracy that seemed to be going on in his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 08/02/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 766

You deserved it 8 994

Next

Top comments

fortune789 17

Wednesday 28 January 2015 0:22

Shave your dog. That'll teach him.

PenguinBitch 43

Wednesday 28 January 2015 0:33

Give your dog a treat and it'll accept its "new" owner.

Comments

Psiioniic 4

Wednesday 28 January 2015 22:15

Maybe the dog just really liked mutton chops.

soulreaper12296 28

Thursday 29 January 2015 1:27

That's just funny lol

HighasaCloud 46

Thursday 29 January 2015 6:05

Is your dog perhaps a female? Then you got 99 problems and a bitch is one. Yeah yeah, I know. I'm letting myself out.

iwi00 8

Thursday 29 January 2015 21:03

Buy a beard beanie! :)

elek2008 9

Friday 30 January 2015 3:44

get a fake beard and show him you taking it off and he'll sort of understand

heavennevaehlove 3

Wednesday 4 February 2015 0:18

Your dog knows what you smell like ... Having no beard is not going to make him forget what you smell like and think your an intruder????

MrsHumanFrog 19

Wednesday 20 April 2016 9:03

I'm kinda thinking this one is made up. Unless your dog has a serious medical condition that his nose and ears don't work, dogs go more by those senses than sight.

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Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

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