Transportation: Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses....

By JohnMackSquirts - 19/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 974

You deserved it 115 411

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Same thing different taste

By fEk - 22/03/2019 09:00 - Australia

Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 341

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 3 371

By typical - 13/04/2013 23:49 - United States - Cheshire

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 245

You deserved it 4 155

By nackpattywhackgiveadogabone - 23/09/2010 11:01 - United States

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 079

You deserved it 50 518

Do a backflip!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 139

By Devin - 21/06/2019 22:17

Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 725

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 7 808

By Never Work With Animals or Children - 26/05/2012 11:06 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 216

You deserved it 2 637

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 135

You deserved it 630

By sari14 - 11/02/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 183

You deserved it 5 043

jrod_fml 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 16:07

How terrible! But, honestly, you shouldn't be playing ball in the house. Didn't you're parents teach you anything?

Chris968 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 16:21

Wasn't it moving or something? I was born legally blind and even I can tell the difference between a living thing and a soccer ball...

Comments

Yizzimindi 0

Wednesday 9 January 2013 0:55

Don't kick balls around in the house anyway! You could have broken something else!

stridercab 12

Monday 25 February 2013 20:11

Why the **** does he have a mini-poodle?

Captain_Flappers 7

Sunday 10 March 2013 22:42

Jackass

KBurns207 17

Saturday 22 June 2013 5:02

I'm seriously having trouble breathing from laughter this has to be the best FML I've read yet. Thank you sir.

hiholls 13

Saturday 10 August 2013 15:27

Why would you kick a soccer ball in someone's else's home? You're a guest. Grow up!

bopersonn 13

Tuesday 31 December 2013 21:20

Why would you just kick a soccer ball randomly anyway?

CadentFish47 8

Friday 14 March 2014 0:35

Why the hell would you kick a ball in the house anyway?

mariahmac16 6

Monday 23 June 2014 2:39

That happened to me but it was a giant rock and I was barefoot and it broke my foot

HunkyMumbles 27

Monday 29 September 2014 2:01

How could you even think that a ******* DOG can somehow look like a soccer ball, especially if it's a Poodle, they are usually just one colour! And how could you think it's a right idea to kick a ball in someone's house unless you were drunk?

HunkyMumbles 27

Monday 29 September 2014 2:05

Me: My profile picture is of my dog, his name is Dexter, he is one year old and looks nothing like a soccer ball, would you like to kick him down some ******* stairs too? You: Yes Me: Why? You: Because I forgot my glasses at my house and I think I somehow have the right to kick balls (dogs) down stairs!