Intimacy: Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked...

By Bacular - 06/02/2010 09:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 144

You deserved it 5 956

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 19/05/2011 15:13

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 80 653

By oooops - 24/01/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 746

You deserved it 36 287

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 3 418

By eaglesmile - 03/04/2015 04:37 - India - Mumbai

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 357

You deserved it 8 646

By Anonymous - 17/11/2016 01:29

Today, I'm starting a new job. Only problem is, I haven't been told what my duties are, who my line manager is, or who to ask if I need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 746

You deserved it 923

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 10:17 - United States

Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 857

You deserved it 1 672

By hipthrustdude - 18/05/2009 12:04 - Malaysia

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 421

You deserved it 54 446

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992

By DefinitelyNotDogshit - 28/08/2013 04:06 - United States - Levittown

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 721

You deserved it 3 679

Great first impression

By FirstImpressionist - 11/05/2022 14:00

Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 135

revcanon 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 16:05

eh...you are probably the only person in the world that knew

babybubz 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 16:16

*boing* 

Comments

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 16:33

Are you the guy who was caught looking at naked pics live on tv? If so, it all makes sense now :P

sks4613 1

Saturday 6 February 2010 16:35

can't think of anything witty to say Damn u man.

zuuzuu_fml 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 16:47

men get random erections?

Freeze_fml 16

Saturday 6 February 2010 18:03

HURRR DEEEEERRRPP DUUUURRR Duh.

Lozza 0

Sunday 7 February 2010 2:49

nice, polite response there Freeze. Anyway, yes, we do.

spag007 1

Monday 8 February 2010 6:41

All the freakin time, especially young guys like me. Getting a boner right before an oral presentation is very uncomfortable and humiliating.

Bl00dyMurd3r 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 16:53

omgzors 18th

sterl13 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 17:01

I get ransoms erections sometimes

JustStopSucking 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 17:34

they hold your spellchecker hostage

ZleveL 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 18:19

lol

irsmeagol 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 19:38

hehe

seabrook 7

Saturday 6 February 2010 17:02

what were u look at? lol

WreckerGirl 4

Saturday 6 February 2010 17:02

How embarrasing :-/ I'm so glad I'm not male.

WreckerGirl 4

Saturday 6 February 2010 17:04

I meant embarrassing* - typo sorry.

maskedman 9

Saturday 6 February 2010 17:55

now that's embarrassing. jk

WreckerGirl 4

Saturday 6 February 2010 18:19

Haha! So funny maskedman. Good one!

bluecardisaster 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 17:11

yes it happens randomly sometimes we just cant help it and yea the whole world will notice unless you're not packin.

jmaldona 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 17:27

Wow man, you must have REALLY liked your new job!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 132

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 39

The Top

Today, I learned that my friend is selling his PlayStation 5. A few weeks ago I bought a PlayStation 5 to be able to play with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 117

Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 139

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 234

You deserved it 4 771

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 389

You deserved it 6 824

Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 152

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 539

You deserved it 7 513

Same thing different taste

Suck up

Great first impression

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