Intimacy: Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked...

By Bacular - 06/02/2010 09:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I started a new job, it was going well until I was asked to stand up and be introduced to a company director. I had a hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 144

You deserved it 5 956

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 19/05/2011 15:13

Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 80 653

By oooops - 24/01/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 746

You deserved it 36 287

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 3 418

By eaglesmile - 03/04/2015 04:37 - India - Mumbai

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 357

You deserved it 8 646

By Anonymous - 17/11/2016 01:29

Today, I'm starting a new job. Only problem is, I haven't been told what my duties are, who my line manager is, or who to ask if I need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 746

You deserved it 923

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 10:17 - United States

Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 857

You deserved it 1 672

By hipthrustdude - 18/05/2009 12:04 - Malaysia

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 421

You deserved it 54 446

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992

By DefinitelyNotDogshit - 28/08/2013 04:06 - United States - Levittown

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 721

You deserved it 3 679

Great first impression

By FirstImpressionist - 11/05/2022 14:00

Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 135

revcanon 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 16:05

eh...you are probably the only person in the world that knew

babybubz 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 16:16

*boing* 

Comments

yousuckfml 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 19:11

your not the only 1

Craw25 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 19:47

Say hello to my little friend!!!

thongs4lyfe 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 21:22

hahah thats damn hott!

sacknugget 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 22:18

are ou gau

Zapurdead 3

Saturday 6 February 2010 22:22

*Shakes hands with your hardon* Welcome to the team! Keep this up and you'll get promoted in no time!

Paradoodle 5

Saturday 6 February 2010 23:08

embarrassing

malibucrazybabe 0

Sunday 7 February 2010 0:08

i hope your director was a girl... for your sake anyway

fotard2002 0

Sunday 7 February 2010 0:41

it's quite alright, trying to have a man not get a random hard on it like trying not to breath

Kee_1992 0

Sunday 7 February 2010 3:14

Don't act like you're not impressed!

iknowthatguy 0

Sunday 7 February 2010 4:32

Hopefully you work in the **** industry and were making a good first impression.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 64

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 345

You deserved it 403

The Top

Today, in bed, my wife took her vibrator and started masturbating. Feeling excited, I went down to help her. She told me to knock it off 'cause she couldn't focus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 961

You deserved it 641

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 403

You deserved it 8 435

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 68

Today, an ultrasound tech complimented me on my "exceptionally full bladder." That's probably the best compliment I've received this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 115

You deserved it 2 389

Today, I had a great leg workout at the gym. Instead of doing my cool down exercise at the end, I decided I wanted to do something more adventurous, like box jumps on one of those metal stools at the gym. Well, it turns out my body wasn’t ready for that. Now my shin is busted and swollen. This is my second week training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 051

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 500

You deserved it 5 519

Same thing different taste

Suck up

Great first impression

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