Intimacy: Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to...

By involuntary waxing - 15/01/2012 09:00 - Canada

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 095

You deserved it 4 322

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Same thing different taste

Jammed

By stinky car - 16/08/2013 03:18 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 046

You deserved it 10 450

By darthinvader - 16/07/2010 00:17 - United States

Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 048

You deserved it 27 686

Crispy

By ouch - 20/12/2011 12:46 - Australia

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 672

You deserved it 2 432

By Anonymous - 30/09/2010 13:25 - United States

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 137

You deserved it 5 479

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 029

You deserved it 2 796

What new hell is this

By full bladder - 28/04/2015 22:39 - United States - Valrico

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 945

You deserved it 2 370

By NotSoSick - 12/02/2010 05:11 - United States

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 510

You deserved it 3 869

Supportive

By Khagen - 27/01/2021 05:01

Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 109

By It burns down there - 11/12/2018 17:30

Today, I used a new fragrance-free hypoallergenic laundry detergent for my underwear, as I have sensitive skin. I got a rash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 106

You deserved it 237

By Anonymous - 28/01/2019 12:00 - United States - Arcade

Today, I woke up with a horrible UTI after having sex with my fiance the night before. I went to an urgent care to get antibiotics as my primary is closed. Turns out, I'm allergic to condom lubricant. Now everytime I pee, It not only burns, but smells like a nasty condom... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 503

You deserved it 216

cartmen73 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:39

Yikes! Don't get glued to a partner!

ICATiger 13

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:44

That's a sticky situation

Comments

afunnyterdcody 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 2:52

That's kinda hot haha bring on the thumbs down

Tracielself 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 4:51

The real question is: do you shave? The amount of pain takes on a whole new meaning if you aren't.

MrsWojtowicz 16

Tuesday 17 January 2012 8:48

Tracielself, did you notice OP's name? It's involuntary waxing. Haha.

Hache_fml 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:40

Hot bath followed by Gold Bond powder. And lots of prayers that never happens again!

chubby_choco 17

Wednesday 18 January 2012 0:09

******* A!! D8 Why would the FDA approve something that makes your vag produce superglue?!

L_Lovegood 19

Wednesday 18 January 2012 5:22

It hurts just reading it! DX

dinosuarRAWR 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:06

TMI

picturescrazy 24

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:10

I wish you would've included what it was for so I can avoid it D: That sounds awfully unpleasant! Good luck OP!

TheYamBagga 5

Wednesday 18 January 2012 22:21

So if your significant other went down on you in essence he would be sniffing glue?

cysanleigh 13

Wednesday 18 January 2012 23:12

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Phantom13 3

Friday 20 January 2012 9:46

Dear lord...what the hell is that "new medication" for?!

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Haircut Cute Miscellaneous Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Technology Mental health

The Top

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 390

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

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The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

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You deserved it 12 274

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

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You deserved it 38 874

Today, I had an epic, two-hour conversation with a brilliant, beautiful future leader of our industry. She's an intern. I'm just some loser horndog of a senior manager in another department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 538

Today, I can't sit down for a book or some TV without my wife coming up and moaning at me to "get a hobby, get out of the house once in a while, you never do anything anymore." I have a healthy, balanced social life, but maybe I want to relax in my own house for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 77

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 7 247

Today, on WhatsApp, I jokingly said, "I have been a naughty furry, I need spanking" in a group chat with all my friends. They had a good time laughing their asses off, not only because of the text, but because I put it in a group that included my boss and all of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 548

You deserved it 9 851