Work: Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on...

By Andrew - 28/08/2011 22:37 - Ireland

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 344

You deserved it 8 614

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Same thing different taste

Lawman

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 18:29 - United States

Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 585

You deserved it 14 600

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 14:13 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 441

You deserved it 31 035

BIKES!

By cwell88 - 21/06/2015 13:29

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 775

You deserved it 1 777

By TooFast - 21/07/2019 02:00 - Australia - Mount Druitt

Today, after being promised a job and attending five full days of training and induction for a job as a bicycle delivery officer, I was denied the job at the very end of the last day for, "riding my bicycle too quickly on the road." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 173

By Chelsea - 27/02/2013 22:39 - United States - Aurora

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 976

You deserved it 2 670

By RichardPencil - 07/10/2016 10:32 - United States

Today, I thought everyone was smiling at me because they liked my "skateboarding behind a police motorcycle" prank. Turns out, they all saw the open sewer manhole 10 metres ahead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 258

By PC Jones - 20/09/2011 14:56 - Australia

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 460

You deserved it 3 221

BIKES!?

By Emily - 06/07/2011 08:33 - Australia

Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 704

You deserved it 12 280

By Anonymous - 13/09/2017 20:00

Today, it's been two weeks since I honked, screamed, and cussed at a cyclist on the road. Since then, my car has been keyed, my tires have been slashed, bricks have been thrown at my windows, and my number has been put on Craigslist as a gay prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 465

You deserved it 5 967

Inappropriate laughter

By josie345 - 25/08/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 162

You deserved it 27 312

Kyuubi1589 1

Monday 29 August 2011 8:48

Do the wheelie. Show em' who's boss!

iAmScrubs 19

Monday 29 August 2011 8:49

Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when my bike chain break loose?

Comments

KhronicSmoke 2

Monday 29 August 2011 19:55

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHA THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING SOME MARK ASS COP!!!

MrWhiteGluz 1

Monday 29 August 2011 20:04

Lol cops on bikes I can't take seriously

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 29 August 2011 20:28

Try riding a unicycle instead. Those are more respectable. Especially with big shoes.

Zaffro 8

Monday 29 August 2011 20:35

Not sure about Ireland but Section5 of the public order act works well in England =]

mollyluvsyew 0

Monday 29 August 2011 21:11

Just arrest them for disorderly conduct against an officer.

vieeev 4

Monday 29 August 2011 21:40

Well i like men in uniforms :)

hyden121 2

Monday 29 August 2011 21:43

No one ever said the job would be easy but thank you for doing it. Now kick some butt out there!

melibear89 7

Monday 29 August 2011 22:08

Your a cop. Get over it. We don't whine about petty crap like that.

ZielZone 4

Monday 29 August 2011 22:36

Sucks for you

ArthursLifeSucks 2

Monday 29 August 2011 22:40

My tease of choice would have been, "hey look at Pacific Blue over there!" haha. But seriously, should have rode right over to them and made them submit to a strip search for contraband. Any a-holes that mouth off to the police are probably also violating some laws.