Animals: Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats... - FML

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By Anonymoose - 25/12/2011 11:39 - Switzerland

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 637

You deserved it 55 496

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Same thing different taste

By iFail - 25/12/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 982

You deserved it 5 490

By catlover - 13/12/2012 11:04 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 226

You deserved it 32 319

By imahater07 - 25/12/2015 06:28

Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 234

You deserved it 1 704

By JC - 06/12/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 548

You deserved it 9 879

By kookoocatlady - 01/11/2016 04:31

Today, I kept my cats indoors to be safe on Halloween, making sure to keep the food full and litter boxes clean. After dinner, I got dressed up and spent two hours at a party. When I got home, there was a large, rancid butt-loaf waiting on my bed. Unappreciative little fuckers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 870

You deserved it 1 620

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 196

By DumbLackofLuck - 22/12/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 841

You deserved it 8 999

By tryon777 - 29/07/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 335

You deserved it 5 094

Spooky

By Lopez85 - 22/05/2024 22:00 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 125

By dogh8er - 18/12/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 139

You deserved it 3 557

Next

Top comments

Araoth 5

Sunday 25 December 2011 19:21

Did you dress as cat Santa? :)

Mr25_fml 14

Sunday 25 December 2011 19:26

Mr. Kibbles GO BACK TO SLEEP OR SANTA WON'T COME!!!! *Insert troll face here*

Comments

pebbles313 3

Wednesday 28 December 2011 7:36

*Blank stare*

dansco 24

Wednesday 28 December 2011 8:24

Don't worry about it cat lady... Just make sure you get more next year lol

Lonelygirlinlove 6

Wednesday 28 December 2011 13:36

Love it! I have so done that!

fatman1970 25

Wednesday 28 December 2011 16:09

WTF! They're CATS, for Christ's sake! If they were children I could understand. YDI.

acarpenter33 4

Wednesday 28 December 2011 22:26

Sounds like something I would do.

ganjaone 2

Wednesday 28 December 2011 23:00

I feel ur pain. I'm a lonely loser too :(

sassypenguinxox 15

Thursday 29 December 2011 7:12

You're kidding right?

AffenKid 9

Thursday 29 December 2011 10:48

You're an idiot, but no worries, here's my Super 4-step program to help you. 1- get out more 2- kill the cats 3- make new (human) friends 4- live a happy life (without feline weirdness) Taaadaaaaaaa! Merry christmas!

crazyarsedfly 14

Thursday 29 December 2011 10:58

Ahh.. Crazy Cat Lady.

Shellytullis1998 20

Thursday 29 December 2011 11:01

That's a little odd...

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Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

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You deserved it 20 688

Today, as I was ringing in a customer, I noticed that the Febreeze spray can was wet. Noticing this, I sniffed my hands because they had got wet, and said to the customer, "Oh, the can is leaking… want to go get another one?" He then said, "No it's OK, I just sweat a lot." FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 5 543

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I agree, your life sucks 43 169

You deserved it 3 640

Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 041

You deserved it 7 247

Today, I feel so lonely I talked to the likely scam number that called me. Even then they hung up after 2 minutes of talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 180

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 383

You deserved it 10 479

Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn't continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 964

You deserved it 6 953