Love: Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up...

By baby, baby no - 09/11/2012 18:39 - United States - Ladys Island

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 412

You deserved it 3 505

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Same thing different taste

Sunshine of my life

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 15:30 - United States - Toledo

Today, while watching a news clip about NASA's Mars helicopter, Ingenuity, my wife asked me if Mars has a sun. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 172

By For - 28/12/2009 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 659

You deserved it 7 002

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 17:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 640

You deserved it 4 244

By Steve.mc - 01/05/2011 07:03 - Canada

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 469

You deserved it 7 979

By Smart - 16/09/2011 14:42 - United States

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 598

You deserved it 3 127

By boringhusband - 08/05/2016 14:29 - United States - Salisbury

Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 725

You deserved it 1 528

By Badam - 30/03/2013 01:29 - France - Geaune

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 226

You deserved it 4 096

I'm not a monster, I'm a human being

By Casey - 18/03/2021 11:01

Today, on vacation my wife asked if I wanted her to take my picture. I realized it was the first time in our 10 years she had asked me that question. Moments later I realized it's the first time in my life that anyone's ever asked me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 114

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 230

You deserved it 2 180

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 04:05 - United States - Springfield

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 025

You deserved it 29 316

Pleonasm 35

Friday 9 November 2012 23:35

Well, the Death Star is.

Welshite 39

Friday 9 November 2012 23:34

Why yes, yes they are.

Comments

mccrightp 29

Saturday 10 November 2012 20:04

Lol. People's ignorance/stupidity never ceases to amaze me. I hope she's amazing in the sack and/or beatiful!

DaisyPink 6

Sunday 11 November 2012 0:28

That's what you get for marrying for looks over substance. You deserve it.

purpleteeth2334 0

Sunday 11 November 2012 5:08

You're the one that married her.

jayhawkchik 4

Sunday 11 November 2012 20:41

DAYUM!.. I hope she's HOT, cuz she as HELL ain't smart!

sporty_14 5

Monday 12 November 2012 1:36

congratulations

twincityraider 4

Monday 12 November 2012 5:08

You picked a winner didn't you...

jadamsclassic 5

Wednesday 14 November 2012 18:54

it's because they're big balls of gas, right?

yuyqe 4

Sunday 25 November 2012 23:32

Watched too much Darker than Black. Hell's Gate hasn't opened yet...

yusaku02 20

Tuesday 27 November 2012 12:38

I wish I could vote this comment up about 50 more times.

Bquillero16 18

Wednesday 19 December 2012 7:34

I hope you got the solar system app after this

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The Top

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 997

You deserved it 68 601

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 356

You deserved it 12 238

The Top

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 939

You deserved it 30 142

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 342

You deserved it 2 986

Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 600

You deserved it 4 887

Today, I was walking to my mailbox when I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said, "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9 a.m.?" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I'm still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 036

You deserved it 3 096

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 637

You deserved it 7 802

Today, I told my best friend that I liked him and have liked him for a long time. His response was "That's cool. So, when did you get a cat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 143

You deserved it 4 636

Same thing different taste

Sunshine of my life

I'm not a monster, I'm a human being

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