Animals: Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel,... - FML

By karmavictim - 18/03/2011 11:28

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 103

You deserved it 10 934

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 15/05/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 462

You deserved it 18 088

By riddick0846 - 12/12/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 811

You deserved it 13 185

By vstan - 25/08/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 481

You deserved it 5 120

Pile on

By turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 618

You deserved it 12 685

By newly passed, newly grassed - 06/12/2014 17:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 130

You deserved it 8 397

By Anonymous - 10/10/2010 04:29 - United States

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 498

You deserved it 13 893

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 142

You deserved it 243 955

I don't dare look

By TerribleAim - 12/10/2022 00:01

Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 095

Psycho

By Anonymous - 12/10/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 610

You deserved it 4 233

Traumatized

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 677

You deserved it 5 901

Next

Top comments

Schlimpikins 0

Friday 18 March 2011 15:58

You should have turned around and hit the first one for making you hit the second one.

elainelovesyou 7

Friday 18 March 2011 15:57

That must've been his wife. Well done.

Comments

mintcar 9

Friday 18 March 2011 16:27

It's unfortunate that you hit 2 squirrels but be thankful that you didn't get hurt. Sometimes swerving to avoid hitting an animal can be dangerous. FTSL.

maskedman 9

Friday 18 March 2011 16:50

One squirrel actually got away…but not for long.

KMilliron 2

Friday 18 March 2011 19:36

Don't you mean **** the squirrels LACK of life? FTSLL...

LittleMonsterSam 5

Friday 18 March 2011 16:35

PETA is gonna be after your blood!

iluvfmls456 0

Friday 18 March 2011 16:36

So you're the one that ran over my squirrel! Sleep with one eye open.

Naomiiiii 0

Friday 18 March 2011 16:39

MURDERER!

braindawgs 0

Friday 18 March 2011 16:40

hahahah! that mental image made my day.

bigbadtim 7

Friday 18 March 2011 16:41

You killed Rocky, Bullwinkle will be mad.

Wheredidgrungego 12

Friday 18 March 2011 16:45

And mom told me he ran away!

mitchn60 6

Friday 18 March 2011 16:46

Never swerve for animals in the road. About 33 years ago I drove straight through a couple hundred chickens some people were herding across the road at their farm. I came up this rise in the road and there they were. Looked like the biggest damn pillow-fight in my mirrors behind me - feathers flying everywhere!! Not to mention what I heard in the wheelwells of my truck...

maskedman 9

Friday 18 March 2011 16:47

I have a nutsack that I have to carry with me everywhere. I keep it in my pants but every once in a while I like to whip it out and eat some cashews from it. I got it when I took a tour of the Planters factory. Also, my balls.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 18 March 2011 16:49

Quiet, everyone! He's talking about his balls!

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 020

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 267

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 095

You deserved it 6 260

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 203

You deserved it 3 390

Today, I took a picture of the combination to my new lock so I would always have it on my phone if I ever forgot it. I put my phone in my gym locker, locked it with the new lock, then promptly forgot the combination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 919

You deserved it 26 784

Today, after keeping myself awake coughing for 2 hours, I finally drifted off. My cat apparently thought I'd died, and gave me CPR. Now I have claw marks on my chest, and I'm still awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 804

You deserved it 479

Today, I got told once again that I’m being a horrible mother by letting a man move in with me. We recently got engaged after 6 years together. Meanwhile, my ex has a new girlfriend practically every other month and forced our kids to call multiple women “Mommy.” Yeah, I’m the bad guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 136

Today, my girlfriend told me she won't have sex with me anymore. When I asked her why, she said I've lost too much weight and I look like her son. Her son is 4 feet tall & 9 years old. I'm 6 feet tall & 30 years old. She said having sex with me feel like having sex with her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 965

You deserved it 469