Love: Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By bittersweet - 08/02/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 43

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

circayouandme 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 14:16

Are you kidding me?? Some friends they are. Drop them.

midnyte 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 7:25

Everyone is talking about the boyfriend. What about the **** "best friend?" Go.

Comments

POORLiLSTELA 0

Friday 1 May 2009 14:25

for those that dont believe it i'd recommend just not wastingyour time commenting if you thought it to be fake. && as for bittersweet, im sorry that happened. i hope you dropped both of those ass holes from your life. you're better of && lucky his wandering dick didnt get you knocked up too.

BehindTheseEyes 0

Friday 1 May 2009 17:11

wtf?!

BeautifulLove2 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:12

this makes me feel better about my love life not going to lie

dreamINparadise 0

Friday 8 May 2009 0:12

bastard.

DangerousBabee 0

Friday 8 May 2009 2:21

Wow..if i caught them i would beat her ass..then beat his ass twice as hard! >:[

polevaultlover22 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 7:50

sorry =/ thast messed up

Vistula 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 20:29

hahaha owned learn how to please your man

lilcuti3pi389 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 2:20

people who are calling this fake, how is this not believable??? ive seen it happen before with people i know directly so wtf. and OP im sorry, sucks for youu.

brittbrittT 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 0:33

well he's obviously not one for small talk, now is he?

genius_man16 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 18:27

I want to know how long they had been going out. I mean, if they had only been together like 4 days then this wouldn't seem that bad would it?

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relationship advice Relatable Argument Love Miscellaneous Roommate Noise Renters Capitalism Landlords Health Bodyshaming Periods Annoying Work Allergies Poopoo peepee Food Customers Cancer Painful My ex Kids Parenting Amazon Delivery Parents Bosses Frustration Intimacy

The Top

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 813

You deserved it 5 748

Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 743

You deserved it 412

The Top

Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 785

You deserved it 537

Today, I had a dream wherein a deep, sensual voice was talking sexy to me. "Yeah girl, you want this. Mmm." It wasn't the man of my dreams trying to seduce me. It was a piece of chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 548

Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 598

You deserved it 2 882

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 755

You deserved it 3 124

Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 881

You deserved it 301

Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 1 085