Miscellaneous: Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom...

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 627

You deserved it 74 789

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Same thing different taste

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 937

You deserved it 4 479

By me - 08/06/2012 14:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 488

You deserved it 2 711

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 8 895

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 721

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 608

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 717

You deserved it 2 759

Shock and awe

By Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 803

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

Dump the dump

By lily anne - 30/01/2022 02:00

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 144

lindseylindsey39 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:11

Hahah I do that all the time.

rukusrazor 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:12

Eww, stall call.

Comments

lindzXcore 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 3:58

umm.. you haven't heard of a mute button?

jeanniner 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 3:58

#30- thats really, really, really sad that you had to run the shower to take a shit. You must be overly self conscious about everything. Everyone does it! It's really no big deal. As for the FML- I do think thats gross. My brother does that to me sometimes when he calls, and i always yell at him about it. Nasty. Going to the bathroom is supposed to be private.

Imwhereitsat20 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 4:05

Haha that's a typical girl moment. People wonder why I sing when I'm on the toilet, it's cause usually I'm talking on the phone too :)

sevbaby 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 4:14

when i'm on the phone with someone, i'll just be like, "okay, i gotta pee! be right back." and put the phone down. hahaha. but i can understand if you didn't want to like, embarrass yourself and be like "well, i kind of have to go to the bathroom, so if you could just ...." when you're talking to a guy. haha. and plus if you really didn't want to hang up or stop talking to him, i can see this being kind of necessary. at least you tried to be discreet! hahaha.

curlyfriez 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 4:17

and #46 saves the day!!!

englishmuffin 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 4:22

LOL I guess it depends on the type of person you are and the type of person you're talking to. I don't think there's an inherent right or wrong when it comes to talking on the phone while using the toilet. I do that with my boyfriend sometimes. We don't call each other WHILE we're on the toilet, but if we're already engaged in conversation and one of us needs to urinate, it's not that big of a deal. I have a private bathroom (I would never do it in a public restroom... I don't like hearing other people talk in the stall beside me so I don't think they would like hearing me talk either), so I put him on speakerphone, set the phone moderately far away, and just go. I go softly though, so he can't even hear it. He, on the other hand... it just amuses me. =) But, neither one of us would "drop off the kids" and be in the restroom at the same time. Even though it's not THAT much different, imagery-wise, poo is just nastier than urine. So basically, it depends on you and that person. But please, don't do this in a pubic restroom. It is kinda weird for other people.

Waabishkii_ikwe 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 4:23

My boyfriend never minds when I'm on the phone with him while using the bathroom. c:

kandy_fml 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 4:24

You obviously haven't been dating your boyfriend for very long because this happening with 2 people who have been together for a really long time is nothing. It's hardly even worth noticing. And #30. FYL for being so insecure. You husband knows that everyone (yes, even his beautiful wife) takes a shit sometimes and i seriously doubt he cares. Eventually he'll notice what you're doing and you'll be even more embarassed when he calls you out on it.