Kids: Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled,...

By Anonymous - 25/07/2012 10:54 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 554

You deserved it 13 832

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 3 935

Potterheads, man…

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 02:06 - France

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 822

You deserved it 62 080

Teenage Riot

By Anonymous - 30/05/2021 11:00

Today, my son had a screaming meltdown because I told him to clean his own room and that I refuse to be treated like his personal maid. He’s 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 369

By independant - 08/11/2018 08:30 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 748

You deserved it 565

Grow up

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 17:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 671

By oldmama728 - 28/04/2011 11:07

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 375

You deserved it 46 381

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 15:29 - United States - Denver

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 517

You deserved it 3 459

By Anonymous - 21/07/2014 22:14 - United States - Bronx

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 3 627

By CollegeBound - 17/08/2012 19:55 - United States - Tully

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 261

You deserved it 2 367

Get Out

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 06:04 - Australia - Mulgrave

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 144

You deserved it 8 137

stephanyk2 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 18:55

Your son sounds awesome.

luckylea24 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 18:56

You didn't give him a sock did you?

Comments

emoshadow47 9

Thursday 26 July 2012 5:40

This guy truly is amazing. He's a real american :)

Dead_Bunny213 5

Thursday 26 July 2012 5:51

He's 18, he is free. Haha

ladypnk85 2

Thursday 26 July 2012 5:52

OP has no sense of humor

Squeaky_Tomato 14

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:13

Since he is free I suppose you don't have to buy him clothes or food or pay for his car or any of that.

LovelyGirl9 0

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:15

But did you give him an article of clothing? If not then Dobby is not yet a free elf.

supworld 3

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:18

Your son is amazing. Dobby is amazing.

EternalHatred 3

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:36

I want to be your son's best friend. XD

musicluvr2000 11

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:38

Harry potter for ever!

missyfiona89 28

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:53

Learn to take a joke?

maximesmiles 1

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:54

How is that an fml? It's awesome!

rockerlove2013 6

Friday 27 July 2012 1:46

#237 I agree with you ppl suck and they always will

Keywords

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Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 82

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The Top

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 977

You deserved it 9 717

Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 046

You deserved it 34 521

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I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 217

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I agree, your life sucks 11 105

You deserved it 41 832

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 307

You deserved it 3 613

Today, I got an unexpected call from my ex who I'd had been missing. He repeatedly called me a whore for having multiple hotel rooms in the last couple of weeks. I had them because I got a promotion at work and have been working out of town frequently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 159