Kids: Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled,...

By Anonymous - 25/07/2012 10:54 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 554

You deserved it 13 832

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 3 935

Potterheads, man…

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 02:06 - France

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 822

You deserved it 62 080

Teenage Riot

By Anonymous - 30/05/2021 11:00

Today, my son had a screaming meltdown because I told him to clean his own room and that I refuse to be treated like his personal maid. He’s 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 369

By independant - 08/11/2018 08:30 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 565

Grow up

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 17:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 671

By oldmama728 - 28/04/2011 11:07

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 375

You deserved it 46 381

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 15:29 - United States - Denver

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 517

You deserved it 3 459

By Anonymous - 21/07/2014 22:14 - United States - Bronx

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 3 627

By CollegeBound - 17/08/2012 19:55 - United States - Tully

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 261

You deserved it 2 367

Get Out

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 06:04 - Australia - Mulgrave

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 144

You deserved it 8 137

stephanyk2 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 18:55

Your son sounds awesome.

luckylea24 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 18:56

You didn't give him a sock did you?

Comments

Koeniig 1

Wednesday 25 July 2012 21:50

Who cares? I'm 24 and I've said that a couple of times to different people.

Michie1228 5

Wednesday 25 July 2012 21:59

Oh that's awesome. Just plain awesomeness! I'd laugh so hard if my older bro said that. Hahahahahahahahahaha

weallfml 3

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:00

WIN

Bigmoneyshotz 0

Thursday 26 July 2012 21:33

Fail

SportsKnut 8

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:01

Sounds fimiliar

Bigmoneyshotz 0

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:04

Sounds like Dobby needs to start paying rent!

avaeba 14

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:07

The next time he asks you for something you should tell him being a free elf means making his own way

ReturnOfTheRat 6

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:11

I would like to meet dobby!

ColbyM88 5

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:11

Lmao. This was great. Made my day.

mrnuleef 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:13

You should tell him you'll go bellatrix on his ass

Shelta957 13

Thursday 26 July 2012 2:59

No... Molly Weasley

nela25 23

Wednesday 25 July 2012 22:15

jajajajajaaj thats freaking awesome!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 006

You deserved it 3 398

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 3 461

The Top

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 562

You deserved it 8 979

Today, I finally built up the courage to quit my job. I waited an hour to speak to the boss; I finally sat down with her, and she told me I had to be let go because I'm not "reliable enough." The only time I missed work was when I had the stomach flu. I was fired before I could even quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 020

You deserved it 3 482

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 007

You deserved it 3 122

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 552

You deserved it 4 162

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 718

You deserved it 13 910

Today, I found out that I can no longer have tea, which I have been drinking for as long as I remember, because caffeine now gives me severe hyperthyroidism attacks. I don't know what it's like to watch your best friend die after having known each other for several decades, but I imagine this is a good analogy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 181