Love: Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time...

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 609

You deserved it 2 916

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Same thing different taste

By um...no? i don't think so anyway - 15/12/2013 19:16 - United States - Warren

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 530

You deserved it 6 310

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 838

You deserved it 5 155

Rom-com

By Anonymous - 15/10/2020 11:02

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend who I'm crushing hard on that I like her. She gave me a look of revulsion and asked if I was joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 163

By hcditfi5foygy - 23/07/2018 19:04

Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 499

You deserved it 286

By Nice guy finishing last. - 07/04/2017 12:00

Today, I saw a girl I have a crush on sitting on a fountain, away from everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to make a move on her. I tapped her on the shoulder, which scared her. She nervously flenched and began to piss herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 385

You deserved it 930

Jumping the gun

By mygirlnoloveme - 04/08/2023 08:00

Today, I told the girl of my dreams that my love for her was deeper than the ocean. She laughed hysterically. This wouldn’t be so bad but we happen to be dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 604

Assumptions

By FreeTacos_ - 28/10/2015 05:23 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 540

You deserved it 2 732

What's so funny?

By Puleksy - 14/08/2023 14:00 - Poland - Brzeg

Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 220

By Lennie Mcfish - 28/08/2018 01:30

Today, I confessed my love to my crush over text. Later, she posted the message I'd sent her on Facebook and wrote "look at the pathetic man". The post had over 50 laugh reacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 602

You deserved it 532

Never leave evidence

By Anonymous - 14/11/2021 02:00

Today, I asked my crush out, after a year of liking her. What did she do? She laughed, took a screenshot of it, and sent it to her friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 142

DoNuTizPrOnuT 0

Monday 9 November 2009 9:56

bitch, show her the backhand

cerebellum_fml 0

Monday 9 November 2009 10:08

Her losing fluids for you is a good thing buddy. Its a wonderful thing.

Comments

mizanonymous 0

Monday 9 November 2009 17:21

op there are girls with more control of their bodily fluids out there. And wetdream... Get help. Get lots of help.

shudashuia 0

Monday 9 November 2009 18:19

fire in the hole ....

serpent0042 0

Monday 9 November 2009 21:24

Could be worse, when my dad first asked out my mom she kicked him in the nuts.

cadillacgal79 32

Wednesday 9 July 2014 3:42

What happened to just blushing?

ColdGold 6

Monday 9 November 2009 21:50

So how you feeling now? (after telling her your feelings) So did you even know this person?

sammy6597 0

Monday 9 November 2009 23:47

you have good taste (y). ..:L

Plumppotato 3

Tuesday 10 November 2009 0:11

the big question that everyone seems to be missing is... was she actually drinking something or did water randomly shoot out her nose?

FerrariCake 2

Tuesday 10 November 2009 1:00

You're in luck... women always say they want a guy who can make them laugh.

sterlbott2 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 1:06

Your pathetic.

Yodelmeister 18

Saturday 17 September 2011 13:32

What about his pathetic?

ilikecookehs 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 3:09

lulz thats funny. I hope you got revenge.

razzlemyfrazzle 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 4:09

how is that....how is that possible to have that much nose power to squirt water all over your face??? o.e

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 21 176

The Top

Today, I was in the mood for some coffee, which is right down the street. I brought ten dollars with me, not knowing how much I'd need. When I approached the counter, the barista looked at my hand holding the ten-dollar bill and said, "Oh, our cheap things are on the left side of the menu." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 286

Today, my mom threatened to kick me out for asking if I could skip church for the next few weeks, because, you know, I have Covid and have been told to isolate for ten days, which obviously includes two Sundays. The woman would rather I infect her congregation than let me stay in bed while sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 135

Today, I attended my girlfriend's mother's wake. When I walked up the three-step platform the casket was on, I tripped, fell over the edge of the casket, and head-butted her mother's corpse. The adhesive holding one of her eyes came undone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 527

You deserved it 945

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 495

You deserved it 20 186

Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 832

You deserved it 1 273

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 1 965