Health: Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on...

By FailedTraveller - 04/07/2018 15:00

Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 651

You deserved it 357

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/09/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 16 269

By sarahrachel - 15/12/2015 03:30 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 039

You deserved it 5 053

Flying disaster

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 30/07/2016 13:45 - Maldives

Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 297

You deserved it 1 073

Splish splash

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 719

You deserved it 7 980

Ralph and Huey

By wookieewhosshe - 12/06/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 88

By "Jam2019" - 15/02/2019 14:00

Today, despite using the bathroom before I left my house, then at the bus station 10 minutes later, I still had to get off my bus halfway into my hour long journey to pee in a back alley or I would have wet myself. I'm 24 and this has happened twice in the last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 167

You deserved it 246

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 9 951

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 028

You deserved it 2 795

You ain't seen me, right

By omgomgomg - 27/10/2011 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 328

You deserved it 4 204

boopingsnoot 24

Wednesday 4 July 2018 15:31

Was there no lid on the toilet seat?

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 4 July 2018 15:34

Weave a new pair of pants out of toilet paper. There's no good way out of this, but it's much better than smelling like shit the whole day.

Comments

boopingsnoot 24

Wednesday 4 July 2018 15:31

Was there no lid on the toilet seat?

TelevisionMan 18

Wednesday 4 July 2018 17:33

Where do lids exist on public toilets?

PandaPrincess4 22

Wednesday 4 July 2018 20:24

On trains, airplanes, buses...things that move, generally.

lilacgold 16

Thursday 5 July 2018 4:11

Train toilets typically do have kids, along with a sign saying to close the lid before flushing, for this very reason. Few people want to be soaked with toilet water, so fitting toilets that are likely to do so with lids makes sense.

lilacgold 16

Thursday 5 July 2018 4:13

Lids. That word was LIDS. Good job, autocorrect.

boopingsnoot 24

Thursday 5 July 2018 20:14

They have lids on planes and busses, so it makes sense that a moving vehicle would have a toilet lid.

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 4 July 2018 15:34

Weave a new pair of pants out of toilet paper. There's no good way out of this, but it's much better than smelling like shit the whole day.

tranced_ 45

Wednesday 4 July 2018 15:54

I just threw up in my mouth reading that, bad day sir, bad day.

Dave_Davington 33

Wednesday 4 July 2018 15:57

That is most definitely a shitty situation, and don't for second let anyone tell you otherwise.

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 4 July 2018 16:09

I’m presuming you brought a change of pants? Change into those and toss the shit ones out of the window.

PenguinPal3017 19

Wednesday 4 July 2018 17:27

Delete Facebook, lawyer up, hit the gym.

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 4 July 2018 18:45

Lol he had his own 4th of July fireworks, just really shitty one's 🤣😨😵

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 4 July 2018 19:00

Take off your pants and throw them away. Anyone who takes a long train ride these days is insane, so completing your trip pantsless won’t bother any of the other nuts.