Miscellaneous: Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple.... - FML

By Rochelle - 25/07/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 102

You deserved it 29 257

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Same thing different taste

By moonlight77 - 11/01/2019 14:00

Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 2 201

By Bonapp - 09/02/2012 22:11 - France

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 9 846

By sarah - 18/04/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 048

You deserved it 11 005

Fight Club

By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 315

You deserved it 7 816

By Anonymous - 25/12/2014 21:00 - United States

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 130

You deserved it 2 625

Got away with it, surely?

By Cinnanyan - 02/06/2016 10:20 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 768

You deserved it 2 629

By Lifeless - 15/08/2010 08:42 - United States

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 631

You deserved it 33 660

By sunshine19217 - 18/01/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 516

You deserved it 8 707

By a_B_c_D_e_F_g - 27/06/2009 14:29 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 090

You deserved it 7 596

By EmbarrassedChild - 30/07/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 384

You deserved it 1 926

Next

Top comments

ScaughtieHolden 11

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:01

You're supposed to use a banana.

ebonyirony 29

Wednesday 25 July 2012 15:58

Ohhh yeah. Red....delicious.

Comments

ebonyirony 29

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:06

If I looked sexy when I ate apples I'd start a website called sexyappleeaters and you would all post your photos.

eboonnyy 0

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:07

Story of my life

ebonyirony 29

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:07

If I looked sexy when I ate apples I'd start a website called sexyappleeaters and you would all post your photos.

cheekyterier 13

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:07

I'll bet it was a squeeze xD

JurassicHole 5

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:46

Wrong fruit...

FreeDrawn 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:07

snow white , is that you ?

Mekeritrig 15

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:09

Did you take it to send to your significant other? If so, that's ok.

Zestus 19

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:11

This guy

hockeyoceancity 13

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:25

You mean girl...

abceasyas123abc 12

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:11

Well, you're on your way to good health at least. You know what they say about an apple a day..

PaulB123 11

Wednesday 25 July 2012 18:14

It keeps docbastard away.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Wednesday 25 July 2012 20:55

*looks down a few comments* LIES. FILTHY, FILTHY LIES.

davymac718 4

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:12

Are you trying to look like a pig?

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:13

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A picture with an apple a day keeps the boys away?

jetsown08 21

Wednesday 25 July 2012 17:41

But in this case it didn't keep the doctor away, you still showed up. Isn't the mere sight of the word apple supposed to make doctors cringe and convulse?

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Wednesday 25 July 2012 20:53

*holds up a apple* Doctor: *hiss* It burns! Also, fun fact: Green Apples make you horny.

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Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

Today, after nearly a week of having laryngitis, I was finally able to talk a little again. Then I yelled at my son for leaving his shit all over the living room, strained my throat, and can barely even whisper now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 757

The Top

Today, I’m on day three of pneumonia and a sinus infection. My six year-old is on day three of a sinus infection and day one of the stomach flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 133

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 107

You deserved it 1 905

Today, two of my coworkers broke the dishwasher. They ran a fully cooked rotisserie chicken through it multiple times until the meat disintegrated off its bones, just to 'see what would happen'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 108

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 361

You deserved it 13 762

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 618

You deserved it 4 926

Today, I felt a fear that my relationship with my boyfriend isn’t going to last. There’s nothing inherently wrong, yet I find myself thinking of breaking up with him. A lot. I love him and feel like I’m already part of his family, and that's something I don’t want to let go. I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 351