Health: Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left...

By POLYBLOT - 30/06/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 954

You deserved it 56 106

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Same thing different taste

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 404

You deserved it 22 011

By nick - 12/05/2010 09:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 277

You deserved it 5 993

By stickyandwet - 30/01/2017 23:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 839

You deserved it 907

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 261

You deserved it 49 614

**** your "beach body" noise

By that’s not how it works - 16/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 124

Hint hint

By Lika1712 - 26/08/2014 22:55 - India - Mumbai

Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 020

You deserved it 4 686

By anonymous - 05/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 385

You deserved it 59 712

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 477

By mattlikesfunions - 18/07/2016 18:56 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 749

You deserved it 1 237

By nikkiquila_0699 - 05/09/2009 21:24 - Canada

Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 404

You deserved it 4 869

KennyP55 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:10

Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.

hotstuff81 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:12

Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.

Comments

Dhendi69 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 23:04

your should try working out or going on a diet dont take lax haha

randomness28 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 23:27

You SO deserved that. How can you not know that most laxatives take a couple hours for the effect to kick in. Couldn't you have at LEAST read the label? Also, you took it to lose weight? Are you kidding? It doesn't actually make you lose weight. Just clears out your intestines, colon, etc. Were you actually expecting to lose some noticeable weight in 6 hours? This isn't a Jenny Craig commercial.

baileys82 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 0:02

most you could lose is water weight. i suggest going into a sauna with a rubber suit on or running 5 miles in a rubber suit and sweat suit. worked for my brother for wrestling. then again, thats not too healthy either. either embrace your size or eat a salad.

CherishFlowers 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 0:28

That's called Bulimia. Please don't take laxatives to lose weight. =( Bulimia is really hell to go through.

peanut_dog 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 0:46

1) Reading the instructions enclosed in a package of a chemical you are about to put in your body is a good idea. 2) Taking laxatives to lose weight is unhealthy, unproductive, damaging to your digestive system and can cause IBS. All gross things.