Health: Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left...

By POLYBLOT - 30/06/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 954

You deserved it 56 106

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Same thing different taste

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 404

You deserved it 22 011

By nick - 12/05/2010 09:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 277

You deserved it 5 993

By stickyandwet - 30/01/2017 23:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 839

You deserved it 907

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 261

You deserved it 49 614

**** your "beach body" noise

By that’s not how it works - 16/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 124

Hint hint

By Lika1712 - 26/08/2014 22:55 - India - Mumbai

Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 020

You deserved it 4 686

By anonymous - 05/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 385

You deserved it 59 712

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 477

By mattlikesfunions - 18/07/2016 18:56 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 747

You deserved it 1 236

By nikkiquila_0699 - 05/09/2009 21:24 - Canada

Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 404

You deserved it 4 869

KennyP55 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:10

Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.

hotstuff81 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 16:12

Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.

Comments

primogen18 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 20:09

YDI, you care so much about your "figure" you're taking laxatives? Why not actually DO something about it to live healthier? Did you hit up the tanning booth and salon on the way? Eat a bag of chips and box of cookies maybe throw up a little?

immumo 2

Tuesday 30 June 2009 20:53

im so sorry that u r such a dumb ****.

blondebeard 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 21:02

YDI for thinking taking laxatives will help you lose any noticeable amount of weight.

onealhart54 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 21:16

your a guy. don't worry about your weight too much

kc2_fml 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 21:25

@crazy cat lady... who doesn't take pills without reading the description?

xHaniffax 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 21:39

Okay, OP you are a ******* idiot, god, I hate people like you. Laxitives are to help keep your bowel movement running smoothly, NOT to lose weight. the only way you will lose weight noticably is if you take laxitives for long periods of time this means you'll be putting it into your body when you don't NEED it, thus ******* up your bodily systems If you want to lose weight, get off your fat ass and go to gym. Thinking that you can lose weight by taking a laxitive shows how lazy you are. I hope you suffer from deyhydration but get better to remember how stupid you were.

BrightSideGuy 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 21:47

ahahaha.... that made me lol. Brilliant.

curryndricegirll 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 21:53

YDI for saying "like in the movies."

hollister7304 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 21:55

Laxing to lose weight is so bad for you. After a long time of abusing laxatives your body won't be able to function w/o them anymore. And laxing after eating gets rid of only 10% of calories, max.