Miscellaneous: Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich...

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 320

You deserved it 49 588

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 065

You deserved it 3 116

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 05:55 - United States - Truckee

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 404

You deserved it 5 441

By Shitty day - 24/05/2016 05:59 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 649

You deserved it 1 568

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 315

You deserved it 3 833

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 08:19 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 635

You deserved it 10 655

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 401

You deserved it 4 695

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 6 902

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 590

You deserved it 941

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 03:52 - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 942

You deserved it 2 920

By ILoveAnimals - 11/06/2012 07:14 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 772

You deserved it 5 549

TheSuitGuy 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:18

There's a reason the signs say 'Don't feed the animals'.

MissGreenT 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 2:19

guess you could say you had a shitty day? FYL

Comments

saidoh_fml 26

Friday 22 February 2013 12:11

I could be wrong but I believe a similar situation was how the apeshit expression originated.

G_Lagaffe 4

Tuesday 2 April 2013 6:48

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH YOU ******* IDIOT!

teentee401 36

Tuesday 14 May 2013 13:37

You should be old enough to know that most zoos won't let you feed the animals unless it's food they provide. Why do you think I would be safe for a chimp to eat a sandwich? YDI

Eorlas 31

Saturday 1 June 2013 22:50

STOP FEEDING FOOD MEANT FOR HUMANS TO ANIMALS. SOME OF THEM ARE POISONOUS TO THEM AND CAUSE SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUES. Caps lock off translation: YDI

picturescrazy 24

Monday 9 September 2013 4:28

As someone that works at a zoo, you deserve that and SO much more for trying to feed the animal. You can seriously harm them by doing so :/

theorist3 7

Thursday 27 February 2014 9:59

Don't feed the animals!!!

sky413 26

Thursday 29 May 2014 21:00

Should have dodged it

dblogic 19

Thursday 30 October 2014 12:10

Well, you threw some shit at him first....

theweasel 16

Monday 23 February 2015 17:26

Did he laugh afterwards?

gatorgirl7563 22

Thursday 7 January 2016 16:40

Don't feed the animals, you moron. Do wild chimpanzees eat bread, beef/chicken/ham/salami, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, peanut butter, jelly, ketchup/mustard/sauce as part of their normal diet? No, they do not. You could have made that cute chimp VERY sick.