Animals: Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one...

By redmethod87 - 08/04/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 025

You deserved it 6 500

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Same thing different taste

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 10 786

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 6 389

Thanks, Marley

By Anonymous - 30/10/2020 08:08

Today, I made sure my puppy went number 1 and 2 before taking them into a pet-friendly store. In the store, two ladies awed at my puppy, but as I picked him up I didn't notice he'd shat on the floor until they pointed it out, giving me a dirty look. Other customers glared as I picked up his smeared shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 277

By Jimii Liu - 11/03/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 635

You deserved it 3 367

Naughty boy

By Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 218

Dog park blues

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 656

By Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 187

You deserved it 5 723

It's a doggy dog world

By Patrick - 14/10/2012 04:39 - United States - Sulphur

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 688

You deserved it 4 081

Fresh air

By Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 242

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 810

You deserved it 4 128

save_me_08 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:05

"...and that's how I met your mother."

Pink_n_Twizted 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:03

F your life??? F her life!! Bet she'd change places with you in a heart beat

Comments

Ebonyloan 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:10

LOL, I'm guessing your dog doesn't approve of her. ;P That's pretty nasty for the girl but seeing as she likes dogs, maybe she'll just laugh it off and have you clean it or something! She probably wont hold it against you. :]

Gin_And_Juice 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:12

Maybe she's kinky and got turned on. Always look at the bright side of things people.

Jaxro 6

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:15

Hahaha, my dog seems to have that problem too. Usually when we have guests over.

666midnight 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:15

Haha, bet that puppy wasn't so cute afterwards? XD Let us know if she ever calls =P

icanhazlizard 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:17

I don't see why she should hold that against *you*. I'd say it goes the other way: if she *doesn't* call just because of that, you didn't want her anyway. It wasn't your fault. This from a girl's perspective.

txmmj 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:19

LOL omg thats so funny.

Chaith 16

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:20

I'd say since she was the one walking away from that conversation covered in dog poop, she's probably extremely embarrassed. Or angry. But you already have a memorable story and a number. Give it a shot. Make it up to her for doggy's misdeed.

buhnaynay 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:21

Haha @#9. That would work, but then imagine if he was constipated. So she would just have some guy trying to take a shit on her feet and wouldn't know what to do. She could walk away, but then she wouldn't know the ending.